Lately I can’t help but feel like my boyfriend is unsupportive and puts me down over everything. If I’m sad or upset, he will tell me how I’m an unhappy person. If I talk about something I want to do, he will say I’m being boring.
When we met I was in the process of becoming a lawyer (I’m almost done now) and he constantly made me feel bad for it saying I chose my career over him and was overall unsupportive.
I started posting on tiktok recently and really enjoyed editing and he made sure I knew that if my videos started taking off, we wouldn’t be together and he doesn’t want someone who’s life revolves around that and I care too much about it.
I was telling him how I want to do a short online course and learn basic programming and he told me to stop being so boring, all my life revolves around is studying.
I’m starting to feel like he might be being somewhat emotionally abusive but I don’t know.
Edit: I forgot to add, when I started going to the gym, he told me he likes me how I am and if I got too skinny, he would no longer find me as attractive.
12 comments
Why are you with this guy?
Time to hit the road
Google emotional abuse, specifically minimizing and dismissing. It is abuse. Whether he does it because he doesn’t know any better, or because he’s depressed or he does it to hurt you, it doesn’t matter. It’s shitty behavior and it has no place in a healthy relationship.
He is abusive. It’s abusive to insult someone and make threats to them if they want to do something you don’t like. I have no internet in golf but I couldn’t care less if I was seeing someone who enjoyed it.
What exactly are the *positive* parts of the relationship? Does he pay for everything and you can’t afford to leave? He’s tall so the constant abuse is worth it because he makes your Instagram friends envious?
The only information you’ve given us is that he treats you like shit, and does so constantly. Why would you stay?
That’s abuse … you’re about to be a lawyer and sometimes it’s hard to diagnose situations close to you. Deep down you know what it is.
He’s massively insecure, doesn’t want you to have a more successful job than him or to be in better shape than him. He knows you are on the verge of starting your career and is ramping up the comments so you’ll question your abilities.
You’ve worked hard for this, don’t let anyone hold you back
So leave him. He sounds like a huge piece of shit.
HE sounds like the boring one. Sheesh. Someone who can’t appreciate their partner’s success or the things that makes them happy is not a good partner. You deserve better my friend.
Is he the only main alive in your area code? That seems like the most likely reason that I can come up with for why he would remain your boyfriend.
You’re the one choosing to stay with him. Why?
I am sorry OP your partner should be supportive or you and your goals or plans