This relationship was only 3 weeks but after a serious argument I felt we were utterly incompatible. But I didn’t want to hate her for it and still wanted to maintain a friendly healthy relationship if she wanted. But irdc either way
“Don’t know how to say it without hurting ur feelings but I don’t think we are compatible…
I think we have a problem seeing eye to eye on things and we have serious communication issues. This is destined for failure
I’m not really mad I see your humanity and I have nothing but love for u. I just don’t think we are a good fit
I really enjoyed our time together and if u need someone I’m still here for u. Maybe as a friend without expectations đź‘Ť. Or maybe not. I don’t really want to just end it horribly. Either way I got nothing but love for ya. I think we really connected on many issues and I enjoyed our time together”
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I think it’s too long and involved for 3 weeks in, and I would definitely take out the part about having nothing but love for her. Just say the first sentence and then that you hope you can still be friends and even if not, you enjoyed your time together.
You don’t have to justify yourself or make an argument in favor of breaking up. If you’re not feeling it then you’re not feeling it and a brief and kind statement of that fact is enough after such a short time.
“~~Don’t know how to say it without hurting ur feelings~~ Hi XXX, I’ve done a lot of thinking but I don’t think we are compatible…
I have enjoyed getting to know each other and thank you for letting me into your bubble, but especially after that argument we had, I think we have a problem seeing eye to eye on things and we ~~have serious communication issues. This is destined for failure~~ can’t seem to communicate properly. I just think both of us will be happier with a better fit.
~~I’m not really mad I see your humanity and I have nothing but love for u. I just don’t think we are a good fit~~
I’m sorry if this is catching you off guard or if you’re upset that it’s over text. I just wanted to communicate it with you because you are a nice person who shouldn’t have to feel confused or lead on. I’m happy to be here for you as a friend if needed, but also respect your decision whatever it might be. Either way, hope despite all this you’re still having a nice weekend.
~~I really enjoyed our time together and if u need someone I’m still here for u. Maybe as a friend without expectations đź‘Ť. Or maybe not. I don’t really want to just end it horribly. Either way I got nothing but love for ya. I think we really connected on many issues and I enjoyed our time together”~~
*Note: There is never ever any need to throw in the word “love” when you’re letting someone go that you haven’t actually dated very seriously. It has strong emotional connotations and can make it even more hurtful (imho).*
If it were me, I’d make these changes:
1. Remove the reference to hurting her feelings in sentence one. In my opinion, it comes off as unintentionally arrogant. “I know this will completely wreck you and destroy your soul. And I am just gonna leave the Crisis Text Line number here too just in case you want to harm yourself after reading this undoubtedly devastating news. But we’re over” eye roll
2. You have “love” for her but you have only dated for 3 weeks? You “love” her yet you are dumping her after one argument? Love is earned over time. You don’t love nobody that you’ve dated less than a month. I get what you are trying to say but replace it with an adjective that is less serious.
3. Keep this short and don’t explain too much. You’re doing too much.
Again. This is all just my opinion. But if it were me, I’d reformat the text message into something like this:
“Hey {nameOfWoman}. I really enjoyed our time together and think you are great person, but I don’t think that we are compatible.”
She replies. If it’s mean/angry then you ghost. If it’s nice you say:
“Thank you! I appreciate that. I wish you all the best with {lifeGoalOfWoman}. Give {dogName} a cookie from me! Take care.”
That’s all there is to it. No promises of friendship. No assumptions on how she’ll feel. Polite. Respectful. Quick. To the point. Like a mob hit. Two to the back of the head. Pop pop. (Figuratively)
This is way too long.
” I took some time to think, and while I enjoyed our time together, I don’t think we are compatible ” is more than enough.
Don’t break up with someone over text. If you don’t like her anymore be at least decent enough to do it in person. It’ll be uncomfortable but it’s the right thing to do
For three weeks it’s too much. Explain you’re sorry for hurting her feelings but you are incompatible. That she’s a lovely person (if that’s true) but youse are not a good fit and you wish her the best. Don’t include anything about loving her at all, it will make her hold onto false hope that this break up is temporary, and that if you love her you will come back