You May Also Like
Have you ever broke up with a wonderful person before?
- February 17, 2023
- 33 comments
Someone who is nice, easy to get along with, genuine and even beautiful? What was your reason for…
2 part question: is giving a relationship title ultimatum ever a bad idea? and how long is the longest you’ve waited for things to be official
- May 16, 2022
- 5 comments
part 1: i’ve been hanging out with this guy for 2 months now. we talked about the idea…
How to ask a girl out
- December 24, 2023
- No comments
So, I’m a teenager in high school. There is a girl who interests me a lot, but we…
31 comments
she lied about how long ago she broke up with her ex and what she was looking for just to fuck me. kinda sucks.
It’s kinda nice when you stop overthinking so much sometimes and just enjoy getting to know someone. And live in the moments
Is this a giant red flag?
I’ve been a few dates with a seemingly nice guy. I like him. He’s been very respectful so far.
I’ve learned he went to a strip club with work? He basically told me, but, uh. And I don’t think it was his choice, it was a work thing (like wtf year are we in??). But I’m sort of at a loss. Am I overreacting by being weirded out by this?
I‘ve been “trying” to date more for years but I haven’t been able to bring myself to give a single shit about any of it. I honestly don’t know if changing my feelings is even possible at this point.
I like my life. I enjoy the rare moments I get to myself. Getting blitzed at home and eating food with a good TV show is my absolute favorite thing in the world. Forgive me for not wanting to “put myself out there” when going out mostly sucks and I’m not interested in most people sexually. Forgive me for being too busy as an adult with a high-pressure job to not care about messages from randos on dating apps.
I just want to hang out and live my life. I think most people feel the same way, but most of those people randomly found their partners at an early age and didn’t even have to try. I resent the fact that instead of just being able to relax like I/most people want, I have to “improve myself,” and go places, and act like I care, and “roll with the punches” until I connect with someone as an adult.
Every time I think about dating, all I want to say is say: fuck this.
I know it helps nobody for me to assume the worst when I stop getting replies from my matches.
But it’s extremely difficult to shake myself of that habit when this assumption is almost always correct.
he’s noncommittal as fuck so I’m cutting him
loose after 4 good dates and great physical chemistry. no communication in between dates. not what I want so I have to cut my losses. why does it suck, though?
I went back to o.l.d. this past week. So far I met with 1 guy who waited until the 3rd date to tell me to know my place, as women are made to make babies and men, and therefor he, is smarter, faster, stronger than me. (Yep walked out of that date) and about a 50/50 shot between honest men who say they’re not looking for anything serious, and dishonest men who try to appear emotionally aware and looking for similar things, but hit me with the sexting prompts as soon as 11pm hits. And 0 solid connections.
I hit a new record lasting 4 days on line tho. I just can’t do it.
One thing that stuck with me was this guy who was my first real date in a long time. I think in the back of my head he was using me for practice. But I just remember he went for a make out session after the first date and I just kinda went along with it. I made an excuse of why I have to go.
Still gave him my number but the next day, he said there’s no spark and that was that.
I remember just feeling really sick. It wasn’t so much the rejection but I felt like used up a bit after that make out session.
I’ve dated here and there since then but that really made me clam up physically and emotionally. I wasn’t violated or anything but I just feel like I have to be on guard from now on and be ok disappointing people with my boundaries.
I’ve been processing that for a year now – 100% having fun chilling with myself right now though.
How to prevent burn out from OLD? I have some matches and we do small talks. We already had plan to meet. However I am already burned out. Meeting new person, same questions, this that.
Maybe I am not ready yet. Can’t lie that I am still mourning from my break up.
Have been back on OLD for a few weeks, first time in years after an LTR breakup back in the spring.
It’s quite ironic that many women balk at meeting up in person, content to message for days on end. I know a lot of people use OLD for ego boosts, loneliness and the like, but it seems much more prevalent these days. The intention to use OLD for actual dates is almost a foreign concept now.
Have my first in-person date since I started back on the apps lined up for tomorrow night, will see how it goes. Trying to be intentional about just having fun, rather than any expectations.
Went on a first date 1.5 weeks ago. It was 7 hours long. I have a huge crush on him. We knew each other through family friends and had hung out in family settings before. He recently asked for my number, and first date happened. Extremely introverted and reserved but he’s funny, and I love. 3 days after the first date, He texted me and sent some articles about local restaurants but didn’t ask me out. I was super confused but took the courage to ask him out. We are going out on a second date this coming Saturday.
Now I’m all of a sudden worried (probably irrationally) that I had said/done something wrong on the first date and he just agreed to come out and meet for the second time out of pressure because our family know each other??? Am I overthinking it?
Same old same old, I refuse to do online dating, It’s I’m possible for me to meet someone in the wild bc I dont talk to anyone. I just live in my own little boring world 🌎.
A few thoughts on the “I have a house/career/no debt/material possession whatever” one liner that posters like to cite when underlining their candidacy for dating. Maybe it’s just my area, but it’s pretty rare for people to have all of that stuff. For instance, I have the career (sort of — still in training) but live with two other dudes in an apartment, have tons of school debt, drive an old car I don’t even own outright, but have still done great on the apps. My experience is that people care about *connection* which is some combination of looks, personality, and the ever elusive chemistry. The rest is window dressing.
I’ve been one a couple of dates with a woman my age. The conversations are great, she’s funny, and we take turns initiating dates. Nothing physical yet though.
What bothers me is that whenever we meet up, she has never dressed up, and never worn any makeup. Usually I don’t mind at all, but on many of her social media posts when she’s out with friends, she is wearing gorgeous dresses and looks amazing.
Super confused by this. Why would a woman not try looking her best when going on dates, but rather only when she’s out with friends?
I (31M) had a first date with a woman (31F) in the middle of last week. We met online so it was just some pretty casual after work drinks. The date went really well, we stayed much longer than planned because the conversation just flowed really well.We had our second date on the same weekend (so only 5 days after the first), which also went really well! She texted me after thanking me for such a lovely date and told me she had a great time and would like to see me again. Between those 2 dates, we were texting casually, maybe 1 or 2 texts every day or so.
Due to both of our schedules, the earliest we can possibly have our next date would be in about a fortnight. We haven’t got anything organised though, because it doesn’t feel right to organise a date that far in advance.
At the moment I’m confident she likes me so I’m not really worried about her losing interest. But 2 weeks seems like a while away, so I’m just wondering how I can maintain that attraction? I’m not going to be texting her daily, as I find that type of conversation annoying and not meaningful. But I don’t want to be radio silent either… cause I’d like her to know that I’m thinking of her. Any advice would be appreciated.
I had two dates so far with a woman (30F) past month. I like her and text her every week once or twice but we never have deep conversations on text. I’m busy with work and so is she. When we meet for dates though we talk a lot for hours.
​
Not sure how to progress and “close.” I’m not really good at this sort of thing hence why I’m single in my 30s. How do I set up a 3rd date to close? we met off OLD so I’m not sure if I wil be friendzoned but we have just hugged and talked a lot on these dates. Not sure if i’m wasting my time with this one and better to just reinstall the apps and meet another woman. Thoughts?
Went on a second date last night. Dave and Busters. Food was crap, the arcade was fun. We agreed that we should have gone to Gattiland and sat in the cartoon room. So we got Taco Cabana afterwards. Saturday is the infamous and all important third date.
Have a promising first date coming up on Friday. Getting irrationally grumpy about her manually changing her location multiple times on Hinge while traveling for work. I am fully aware I am owed nothing and people of course keep swiping, but it makes me way less enthusiastic and the self sabotaging part of me kind of hope it falls through.
I asked and planned a date with a guy to explore the city using a scavenger hunt (he’s new to town). We agreed on an evening. He then asked me if I had WhatsApp. I’m usually quite hesitant about adding people before meeting them so I simply responded yes. I planned to add him if he gave me his. I wanted him to give me his WhatsApp because I felt like I already invested a lot into setting up this date and he hadn’t contributed much in the effort. He never responded so I figured we were off but to make sure I reached out and asked him for a time to meet.
He responded and told me he thought I wasn’t interested anymore after my low effort response. Ugh. Literally sent him paragraph messages in setting up this date and when he goes to exchange contact because I didn’t simply give my number to him and wanted him to do some of the work I’m now being low effort? Pass.
I’m happy that I’m sticking with my standards here because it seems like he doesn’t appreciate the effort I made for planning a fun and unique date.
I’ve been dating someone for a few months but feel I need to end it. I’m not in the position to move forward with anything long term/serious, particularly as I’m not as over the ending of my last relationship as I thought I would be by now.
We have a lot of fun together, can talk for hours, plenty in common and feel compatible in lots of ways. However my concerns are that we aren’t on the same page right now. Plus I find myself increasingly irritated (probably irrationally) as they seem to only be starting out in life (recently started living independently in their 40s after being in houseshares, not lived with a partner or got kids etc) and it began to feel like I was the adult he would ask about basic life stuff.
I feel really mean when I try to explain it!
Went for date 3, the picnic and dog walk. She met my Hugo and loved him! She liked the picnic idea even if I left the crackers at home! (So dumb). Ended with another kiss, just a quick one. We get on amazing and she’s throwing up green flags and ticking all the boxes. I’m really loving getting to know her. I’m not a super physical person but I’m initiating the hand holding and kiss at the end of the date so I worry a little either that she’s not interested in my enough physically yet and hopefully this grows, or maybe physical touch is low on her LL list. I really like this one, I hope she likes me too.
Ladies I guess my question is, what’s a general guideline (I know obviously is dependant on the person) for physical intimacy and what’s too fast or too slow? Think about your own situations or past dating experiences to give an overthinker a break haha
If you dont live in a big city then you are playing a game on hard mode.
Girlfriend is sick(flu), not very affectionate, which I understand as I’m the same way. I’ve still been giving affection just not really receiving it in the normal/usual way, sometimes nothing but a light groan.that’s fine. Again, I get it.
But laying in bed tonight, just before getting ready to sleep, she brings up this old guy she saw for a while, and that she hated his cat. (We just got cats, she was talking about cats really, not this guy) but this, combined with a lack of affection due to this damn flu, kicked me right in the gut.
I’m stupid right?
dating with a upcoming disability, it sucks!
So i have been diagnosed with an MS like disability since i was young (when i was 10). on the surface you couldnt see it, but when i grow older it could affect my life in walking disability etc. I always i knew it could happen which why i didn’t settle when i was young played the field allot, also wanted to experience many sports and travel, focus on a career, buy my own car and home which was the majority of my focus. in which i succeeded!
But ever when i turned around 28 (im 34 now), the disability started catching up with me, so i can still walk but not like for hours or do hiking/extreem sports anymore. When ever im dating someone i tell about my disability on either first/second date. (i noticed when i share it when OD i get ghosted or turned away for it). I try to tell my disability isn’t that worse and try to not let it affect my day to day life (im quite an optimistic person). i still work 40+ hours a week and still own my own asset i gathered when i was younger and want to keep growing which i am.
Do you have any tips how to introduce someone into dating someone with a disability? problem if i try dating field with disability those are mostly people with psychological disabilities and not mobility disability.
I think I got catfished? Height doesn’t matter to me, but this guy wrote he was 5’6, but when we met we were literally eye to eye and I’m around 5 feet. There wasn’t much chemistry during the date, but the obvious lie bugged me a bit
Why can’t I just date someone who I’m attracted to, and is excited to see me? :'(
Whether it’s in person or online I always reach a point where I’m told this is “too much” or I just don’t get my needs met.
I’m just tired of meeting people, falling for them and getting hurt. I’ve had enough. I don’t know whether it’s where I’m living, or if there’s something wrong with me.
Where’s this magical mystical woman who wants to spend time with me lol. Sex is relatively easy to come by, anything more is a challenge it seems
Man. I really liked this guy, super stoked on me as well. Then he just randomly stopped replying. This was after he had initiated contact.
I’m confused and disappointed and also just trying to let it go. I don’t want to spend time on someone who has avoidant tendencies yet again. But this guy really piqued my interest so hard not to feel sad and want to reach back out.
Again, I tried Tinder and it went nowhere, because I have kids.
15matches, 3-4 good conversation that could have lead to a date, but even if I state that I’m not looking for a new mom for my kids, that I don’t have full custody and don’t put pressure on being around them, it’s always a blocking point.
Maybe I should try another dating website? Is there something else for western Europe?
I float between mostly fine and absolutely destroyed. Had a long conversation with my previous guy’s new girl (who’s a psychologist, so I guess that counts as professional help? 😅) yesterday, and I feel it sort of helped? It wasn’t even really about them or about him, but more about me and why I keep picking these guys who are not all in with me, and then I compensate by putting in the extra effort that they’re not putting in (great call on her part, I definitely do that).
I think I may have helped her a little, too, she was worried that he was still very hung up on his ex and such, and I told her that no, she’s got her timing right, and it’s all about the timing. When I met him, he wasn’t nearly ready yet, and I was patient and told him to take his time but also made him think about things and helped him make sense of things, I guess, and now he’s ready. To be in a relationship with her, not me…
Obviously it’s not all timing, if he really wanted to be with me, we would have been together, he clearly didn’t see it, and part of me knows that, but it’s still hard to accept. We’re best friends, we have something he couldn’t have with anyone else, we had amazing sex (all of this per his words), and yet it still wasn’t enough…
It just seems almost impossible at this point to find someone for whom it will be enough, and who I will like as much as I liked this guy. There’s just so few guys who are at my level, intellectually speaking (and I don’t mean they need to have 5 degrees, just that they need to be able to talk about most topics and take an interest in things they may not know as much about, and teach me things about things I don’t know as much about), and who view the world and relationships in a way that matches mine and have a similar enough sense of humor etc. I just can’t help but feel like the best is already behind me, and as I get older it’ll only get harder.
Especially since OLD seems to be broken. I’ve had over 50 conversations over the past two months, I’ve met exactly one guy. And he was way too young and led a completely different lifestyle than me. But seriously, one guy… With the same number of matches I used to have at least 5 conversations going at a time and I could easily get a date every day if I wanted to.
I also had an interesting conversation with another friend of ours (whom I owe a lot to, we have these weekly get-togethers with our core group and we’d agreed to not invite other people to them, just us, but then this guy kept inviting his new girl, and I like her, but I maybe don’t need to see her every single day and see them be all smoochy during what is supposed to be my safe space to hang out with my friends – who also don’t bring their SOs -, but obviously I couldn’t bring this up without sounding like a jealous bitch, so this friend brought it up and we all agreed to no longer invite external people to our meetups). She was commenting on how I’m probably too easy-going with men and how I am (or at least seem) strong and independent and men don’t like that, they want to be a savior, and the new girl seems like she needs a lot of saving.
She’s not wrong, I guess… New girl also knows this, and is also impressed with how he wants to stick around to “fix her”, even though she has many, many issues.
I’ve noticed it in him, too, the time where I was a little drunk (or he thought I was drunker than I was because I was all “weeeeeeeee”) he got very protective and caring and he seemed to like me a lot more.
But yeah, not like it changes anything…
I’ve been on a couple of dates with a guy in his 40s whose last long term relationship was with a woman that is 18 years younger than him. I’m sure she was a lovely person but I can’t help but feel weird about it. Am I being unreasonable?
Had a nightmare that I got back with my ex and he dumped me again. Love when my subconscious puts me through that one.
Getting ready to take a month or so off dating again but feel so disappointed that something I thought was good after a first date probably isn’t that good after all.