As someone (24M) who has always had little to no friends and spend much of my time alone with the exception of my family, I decided I no longer want to lament the way my social life looks.
I realized that I have never been the type to initiate conversations, actively befriend people, pursue a relationship or have thriving friendships as most of my relations with people are by acquaintanceship and the tiny number of friends that I have are people I only talk to and see a few times a year.
I don’t feel like I have either the energy or personality to actively have friends unless people are interested in being in my life or want me in theirs.
What’s your experience been like?
8 comments
Exactly the same here (18F). I have no friends at all and the only interactions I have are with the people at my work, who are much older; even then, I hardly speak to them unless they speak to me. I’ve come to terms with the loneliness, so I rarely feel it anymore, but it was awful a few years ago. Now, I focus on enjoying my own company, and I’ve never been happier. People are too concerned with their social status, I’ve come to believe.
i never really had friends in school, never been a people’s person, so eventually i had to embrace being alone, and start enjoying my own company. it felt really lonely at first, and i would be lying if i said i always wanted to be alone. it doesn’t help that seeing people with their own friendship groups, or just people enjoying the company of others makes me pretty envious. it’s nice to be alone, you learn about yourself when you practice your interests or hobbies by yourself, but i guess it would be nice to have someone there, too.
Yes. Grew up with no friends. Then I had a period with a lot of friends, then I fell out with a lot of them.. then I realised I like being by myself for the most part and prefer to just see friends occasionally. I don’t like people for the most part and engaging with others feels like a chore or exhausting except for those couple times when I’m in the mood.
There’s a difference between being lonely and alone, and I’m at peace choosing to be alone
I kinda went backwards with this. Until I was like 20 years old I was ok with the fact that I had always been lonely and closed off to the world. Now I’m 22 and all I want is to be sociable and have friends and meaningful relationships. It kinda feels like I’ve spent too much time by myself and now I want more lol.
Your situation is similar to mine I don’t pursue friendships or actively try to befriend people. the only people I’m friends with are people who actively pursue a friendship with me which is not many but there are some. I’ve grown to be ok with not having a lot of friends and enjoying my own company but it hasn’t always been that way
Yeah kinda, I use to quite popular when I was uni fuck knows how because I use to dress awful and looked like shit as well haha. But being almost 29 I’m just content with being alone now. Pretty much lost all them friends from uni when me and my ex broke up it is what it is.
I got a job interview on Saturday so just gonna focus on saving some money up rn tbh
It goes back and forth. 23 m, so I wont get approached of course, and I’m not great at holding conversations so all through college I didnt make a single friend. I go from ‘oh this is great, i have so much free time’ to suicidally self hateful and back within a day sometimes.
I feel the same that my personality just doesnt fir well with friendships, which is sad because I know people need friends to be happy ultimately but hopefully I can just fill that with learning and money :p.
It’s nice to talk about such things together.
I think the friend concept is more a childhood concept, I mean friends who really stay together and feel a deep friendship. It may be that there are exceptions. Actually I think with the above written I mean Kind of true friendship just out of sympathy… one is making friends because of more superior reasons… 😛 superior sounds bad to me somehow but I think so…
I have a Little number of friends, at least I don’t See them often. I also like the concept of being alone, not lonely.
I find it very hard to create real life contact with total strangers in Order dto increase my friend Circle. Maybe it’s not the right time..