I’m just looking for some second opinion here. My girlfriend of almost two years (I’m 23 and she’s 20 ) doesn’t seem to love me anymore.
I was made redundant from my old job, got a new manual labour job for a month before finding out I’d managed to secure a new office job at £20k more than I was on before. She showed no excitement, no congrats, we didn’t celebrated.
It all went down hill from there. We saw eachother less, she showed no interest, no excitement, would call me needy, demean the fact I worked behind a desk.
We haven’t been intimate for half a year, and she won’t agree to make plans with me. Won’t agree to go and do anything exciting. But will with other people.
I asked her for ages, to book some time off so we could go away, after a month she told me she didn’t want to leave her coworker, a few weeks later she books a holiday with a friend.
They go on said holiday, during which I got berrated for looking after her horse on a morning I wasn’t on the “rota” for, she’s been arsey with me ever since. She sent me a text she wasn’t supposed to, referencing to her friends antics, and that she went back to the hotel room as Billy wasn’t answering his phone. The next day, she removed the reference to our relationship from her bio. Two days later, back in the UK. I’m getting one word answers, she’s avoiding me. I’ve instigated the need for a conversation as I’m not happy, we’re done here right?
There’s a lot more to it, like the day before she went away, I waited in my car at the stables for her to come down to leave, she had the full intention of walking past my car, without saying goodbye. I called out and we had a conversation, she went to walk away and I asked if she was coming to say goodbye, she said no, carried on walking and came back when her mother called her out for it. I’m sensing a mass of disrespect, a lack of interest, a lack of love, and I’m ready to call it quotes. But I’m not being crazy right?
TL:DR – There are too many red flags from my current GF and I’m ready to jump ship but am I overthinking things?
11 comments
You are so done that it makes me wonder if you missed or forgot a break up she had with you. But yeah, this is over.
I feel like there may be some important information missing here. I find it hard to believe your girlfriend just randomly started acting like your relationship is already over. Are you sure you are actually still together? Did something happen that caused her to go cold on you like this?
Come on be honest with yourself. There is no relationship here and you are deluding yourself if you think that there is. Move on with your life and block her.
It doesn’t seem like you have a girlfriend anymore.
She’s broken up with you. You might not realize it, but you do not have a girlfriend. For whatever reason (scared of you, laziness, etc) she isn’t aggressively telling you to leave her alone.
But you are not in a relationship.
I’m going to be honest I stopped reading halfway through. There’s nothing more than the first half of your post that anyone probably needs to know
I really do think this could be a two sides to a story and reasons why she pulled away that maybe you just missed. I also think she should’ve communicated or maybe she did very clearly to you so that you could understand where she is at where she is coming from. Both are also very young. Your lives just seem to be going in different directions. It hurts but it’s OK. It doesn’t mean anything about you and it doesn’t mean anything about her. It just means the two of you maybe aren’t the best match and that’s always a tough thing to hear and accept.
Something I really have to learn and head to learn because it’s always a process is loving yourself. Intimacy is a natural part of a relationship when it’s healthy and the desires are for both people when they desire is lacking it’s time to talk and it seems that you guys just can’t connect those dots to talk. I think having an honest conversation with her And asking her to commit to what you need but you also doing the same. Both very slowly. If not, then I think it is time to assess the role of the relationship plays in your life. I recently had to do that and it’s been very very painful. And the other side of it things can be better if I choose to move forward and focus on the right things. You’re not alone
I’m sorry, kiddo. She’s dumped you and moved on and doesn’t have the strength of character to tell you.
Hugs,
Granny
Dump her and move on. Life is too short to put up with her any longer.
Sounds like she’s already out of this relationship
She’s a million miles from you, she just doesn’t want to be the one to end it, prob because she doesn’t have any balls too admit she’s no longer interested.
End it for her and live a happy life knowing it wasn’t your fault.
Please don’t feel upset with this question: has she ever in the beginning accepted to be your girlfriend? Or really nothing ‘official’ has been established between you two?
Anyway that boat has sailed. Stand up, give yourself a strong shake, turn your back and walk away. There is pain to live with for some time but there is also out there someone who will provide you with love and respect you deserve. Good luck man!