I’d like to give some social advice to every redditor – you never have to justify yourself to anyone.

19 comments

1. What is this post my dude? If you dont wanna answer you dont have to.. 😂

2. This is very important. When you give someone a reason, you are giving them permission to demand a reason.

   That doesn’t mean never explain yourself. It means choose carefully when and why you do.
   – Learn the difference between someone who wants to understand and someone who wants to argue.
   – Be okay with saying “it’s complicated, and I don’t have the time/energy for it right now.”
   – Know that your inability to *articulate* the reason for your choice does not necessarily *invalidate* that choice. “It’s hard to explain” is plenty of answer.

3. It has this point of view in some places and situations, but not all the time and not with everybody. if you doing work with people that you agreed and in the middle of first difficulty you say – i quit – without explaining your self just because you feel like it and thats it. So will be also consequences from other people to your side without explanations next time.

   I mean yes you don’t have to explain your self to anybody, but social world is not only white or black, and some people can understand this literally what you say and make more problems an bad reactions from people witch could be unnecessary from both sides. And nobody wants that.

   But thanks for advice .

4. I’m a little particular about the music I like. I rarely find new music that fits my taste.

   My partner listens to almost everything, and sometimes finds stuff he wants me to try because he thinks I will like it. When I say I don’t like it, he almost demands reasons. “But *why* don’t you like it? What’s wrong with it?”. I just don’t fucking like it, jeez.
   I end up making stuff up usually. Just to sate his curiosity. “the drums are annoying, it’s too clean, the voice isn’t to my liking, I didn’t like that one riff” whatever. Those are legit reasons, but it’s such a hassle to say this shit every single time I don’t like something he suggests.

5. True true

6. thank you so much! I wish I had you come down as my guardian angle and give me this advice much sooner.

   But even with the logical knowledge of “this is kinda none of their business” or “I think just ‘no’ should be enough?”, if you’re too much of a naive people-pleaser it’s still a struggle to remember this and enforce this boundary. Maybe it’s also that you’re feeling inferior/inadequate generally, or it’s the isolation and inexperience with interaction.. Being excited to actually be given any attention at all, even if it’s negative, or invasive. Or maybe I’m just especially dumb. I would always answer anything super honestly, and if pressed give my honest reasons.. Always a magnet for shit.

   And even if its just talk, people can and WILL use whatever you tell them against you. Or they will rephrase it so it sounds bad/worse..

   You don’t owe anybody anything, not an explanation, not an excuse. This is so important to remember.

   Also, say someone is asking anything of you you don’t want: If you just give a polite version of “no” without more explanation, there is less grounds to disrespect you or argue on, and more reason to just take your no seriously.

7. to me it sounds like because of low confidence you are fast to take questions as an attack/accusation, but someone might just want you to explain for friendly reasons, because they’re interested in understanding you better.

8. I wish I knew this when I was younger but I was raised by a bully who had no respect for boundaries. I remember being in middle school and someone ordering me to sharpen their pencil. I said no. They said why. I say there and justified why I didn’t want to get up and walk to the pencil sharpener for them. I know thats not exactly what you meant but that is what I thought of.

9. Yeah I don’t like this post.

   Haha! Just joking

10. You certainly are not obligated to justify yourself to anyone, but you also should have the emotion intelligence to know why you feel a certain way. It shouldn’t take so much work to “dig deep into your mind” to understand why you don’t like something or whatever.

    You don’t need to explain it to anyone else, but you should be able to explain it to yourself. Otherwise you are governed by your feelings and sometimes your feelings can be wrong.

11. When you give a reason, outside of friendly interactions, you convey submissiveness, that you need their approval for the reason you did something.

12. If someone can’t articulate why they like it it can be a sign that the only reason is for the sake of being contrary.

13. I don’t like vegetables. I seriously don’t.

    I eat them because… I got to. They help keep my stomach flat.

14. True story. Thanks. My only add is it is still good to remain open to providing explanation, in case someone is truly curious about the reason. I.E. In that case, they aren’t asking for explanation for purpose of debate, they are asking for purpose of learning/understanding.

    The trick is discerning which state the asker is in.

15. Isn’t this why us politics are so obtuse rn? Everyone is entitled to their own opinions. Be it Trump, flat earth, Scientology, or plain ole racism. “I just don’t like black people” seems like a bad hill to plant yourself on.

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    edit: spelling

16. This is poor social advice. You come off as extremely combative when u say something like “I don’t need to justify myself to u”, especially if it’s an inconsequential conversation. If anything, you will struggle more socially following this advice

17. I agree but if you can’t come up with a reason why share your opinion in the first place. Just keep it to yourself lol. Sorry that it uses too much brain power for you

18. This is some soft brain nonsense.

19. Ha, of course this is true! Especially considering 50% of reddit is trolls.