Hello, I recently found out that the girl i have been dating for 2 months is 16 years of age and not what she claimed ( 18 ). Btw, I’m 19 years old and the problem that stresses me alot is that we dated online alot, where she kept sending me nudes and my dumbass decided to send them back because the whole thing felt one sided and got pressured alot. What can i do? is this illegal? why would anyone lie like this? i have trouble sleeping now too. Also i don’t know if it’s completely true but she is turning 17 in few days. Please give me any type of advice to fix this problem if there is any. Thank you.
24 comments
You can look up if it is legal in your country. What I would do if it bothers you too much is tell them that you don’t want to have contact with her because you thought she was 18 and you don’t want to be convicted of something in which you had no intention of doing. This can also be seen as catfishing what she did.
Dude. She is under 18. That is considered child porn. Delete the pictures and block her immediately. You are risking jail time. And if you keep talking to her and accepting photos now that you know she is underage you are 100% fucked.
You make contact one more time to say goodbye, tell her exactly why, and be gone.
‘Name. I was under the genuine impression you were already 18. Finding out just now you’re about to turn 17 is problematic. Please respectfully understand that we will not continue forward in our romantic direction, which includes no longer communicating privately. I need time and space to quickly navigate away from the emotions I’ve built for you, and will be unable to talk with you further without a mutual adult present as I respect your true age, wellness and safety.’
You said the AOC in your country was 16 so you aren’t risking jail time necessarily. HOWEVER, you should stop talking to her since she lied about her age. She violated YOU and your boundaries. Please cease all contact with her, because she abused you.
I’d rethink your relationship. She started it off by lying to you, who knows what else she’ll lie about. If the legal age is 16 where you are, the nudes she sent is still CP.
Do you have proof she claimed to be 18? Make sure you save that and then cut contact. If she tries to take you to court then you’ll have the proof
Look into laws in your area. In the overwhelming majority of areas, it’s illegal to distribute and receive nude images of people under 18, as well as to send someone under the age of 18 nudes. If you have any nudes of her, delete them immediately, and make sure they’re not in any cloud folders. Oftentimes the “I didn’t know” defense isn’t a valid legal defense. Consent laws vary so it’s something you’ll want to look into. In the future, be a lot more careful about who you’re sending nudes to and getting nudes from. Oftentimes the law doesn’t care if she lies or not – it’s still a crime even though you thought the person was of legal age.
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Yea nope. delete her and delete the nudes. that is CP. if she threatens tell her you will be contacting the police over the threats. keep all the evidence
Sorry I have a question… how did you find out her real age? And have you confronted her about it?
Some how this kinda reminds my self when I was a teen… i did change my age a lot… but ai think this is something you both have to sit down and talk… and if after talking and knowing her reason for changing her age makes any sence well that’s up to you to go from there… I do know that me changing my age as a teen might of caused someone trouble but I think there might be something else… just saying
Did you ever meet her? If you haven’t met, this could be a scam. There’s a scam about nudes and minors that they ask for money or they go to the police.
You need to break up because she lied about her age. You don’t even know if she is turning 17 for real and she still lied.
You should stay away from the app for a couple of years, because at 18 who can you really date from the apps and people do lie about their age. It’s easier to meet people at 18 so no need for apps.
And don’t exchange nudes and her sending a nude out of nowhere to someone she just met is very red flaggish, to be honest.
I’m sorry, is this someone you know in real life, or some sort of online thing? Because if it’s purely online, this is a well-known scam. There’s no girl; just some scammer writing to you and sending you nudes they downloaded off the internet. Your next contact will be from her “father” or the “police” demanding that you pay money. Probably in iTunes gift cards or something.
If it’s someone real, then find out what the age of consent is where you live, and whether “Romeo & Juliet” laws apply. I know that Wikipedia has a list for the U.S.. Dunno about other countries.
And consider if you want to be in a relationship with someone who would lie about something so important.
And delete the under-aged nudes. Use some secure tool that wipes the actual data off your drive, don’t just move them to the trash.
You’ve received great advise on this so far. I would genuinely inform the police in person at a station as soon as possible. On the off chance she does something stupid, the police will already be aware and it’ll play in your favour showing that you gave information to prove you were mislead
Is there any record os she saying she´s 18?
Post this at r/scams. This sounds like an underage scam. Especially since she sent you nudes. I really hope you didn’t send her your nudes because there is a big chance you’re about to get blackmailed (if you do, never send money!)
Yeah it’s illegal. Just not for her lol
Get clear evidence that she lied (a chat or a voice recording) then dump her. She’ll either take the L like a champ or cause you trouble, in which case you have the evidence that she lied and can protect yourself legally.
Screenshot the texts quickly, every message and photo so if she tries to claim false allegations, then if anything happens you have proof she told you she was of legal age and basically sexual harassed you unless you approved of it.
Get your evidence
Block her , no more contact, delete everything, close that account, don’t be stupid
Ask a lawyer on how to handle this before you do anything.
What do you think? Leave her
Chill out. You said age of consent is 16 in your country. All fine
If you are from the US you might have to worry about the pics, because of crazy laws.
Anywhere else in the world you are fine.
Updated: after posting I saw your comment that age of consent is 16, so maybe you’re in the UK. It’s illegal for under-18s to send explicit photos and for over 18s to possess them. Now you know you should put an end to it and make sure you’ve deleted the photos. If you’re worried you could self-refer to the police or speak to her parents.