I recently got back into the dating game after a long term relationship. It’s a bit weird being back here but it’s nice to meet new people and date around 🙂
I met this one girl online. She hit me up and from there we started talking. She is a bit older but to my knowledge, the age gap didn’t bother her and it didn’t bother me. We settled for a date Tuesday august 23rd( we were talking since the weekend on Friday night.)
From Sunday night to Monday she didn’t respond. Our last convo ended with me saying “ I hope she had a good day” and later that night I said I was going to bed then I said goodnight after that. Monday came and I didn’t wanna text her again cause I didn’t wanna seem clingy. Especially since I had already double texted her( I know boooooo😫 I guess) so I went to work, went on with my day and when the evening came I saw that she still didn’t text back. I figured she was busy dealing with work and with her kid( The kid in question is actually an adult. He doesn’t need constant care she just spends lots of time with him.) I was a bit worried about our date so I sent a last text asking if we were still on for Tuesday(tomorrow.). I told her that I understood that she was busy and to get back to me whenever she had free time.
We were texting on snap and I come back to the app to see that she just removed me from the app. No response no nothing :/. No warning at all. Just gone.
I’m a bit hurt not gonna lie haha I was really looking forward to meeting someone new and spending time with them. I have not contacted this person after she removed me on snap btw. (We met on a site and then moved the convo to snap. )
I wanted to also ask, cause this might help me in the future. Redditors be brutally honest with me: Was I too pushy with the texting? If not, was there anything I did wrong ? I’d like some advice because I don’t want to repeat the same mistakes!
4 comments
You sound more needy than her adult child
Triple texting is seen by some (most?) as de facto ‘clingy’, that’s likely it imo.
>The kid in question is actually an adult. He doesn’t need constant care she just spends lots of time with him
So her adult son: still lives at home with her, and, she spends a lot of time with him.
I deduce she’s in her forties. And the wide age difference (are you 20, yet? perhaps not as old as her son?). She may have already had reservations, and your triple texting removed her doubts.
I think you should’ve let it be at the first text. Maybe don’t text too much after your first text. Girls perspective here, it might’ve scared her or honestly something might’ve happened at her end and she decided she didn’t want it anymore. Texted once, wait for their reply. I think this goes for both genders. Peace bro, hope you find what you are looking for.
Edit: goes for everyone!
It sounds like you’ve put this lady on a pedestal. With your constant texts, it’s shown her that you were already pretty much fully invested, which, can cause a woman to lose attraction for someone. (this is behaviour in general, not specific to you).
Her disappearing act could have nothing to do with you, and just be because she may have perhaps matched or met someone that she felt more attracted to. Unfortunately, through online dating, people think it’s okay to just ‘ghost’ someone when someone better comes along because most of the time, before you meet the person in real life, there’s not much investment.
Moving forward, I’d suggest texting less. Don’t give all of your attention at once. Withhold it enough to show interest but not that you’re already ‘all in.’ Try and stick to the like for like.If she takes a day to reply, you take a day to reply. And if you’re on OLD, chat to multiple others! This will help you feel like you have ‘options’ and won’t become overly concentrated on just one girl. This will help your mindset and not let you come across as too strong.
There’s a lot too it, but just is just the crux of it