So, I’m 25 years old and I’ve been feeling this intense feeling of regret that I never socialize that much when I was a kid and as a teen and also in my early 20’s. I have a few friends throughout my life but it’s never really been like the ideal social life where you can go out and have fun and create these awesome memories with, because of my social anxiety since I was in special education throughout my academic K-12 years. So, I was always shy and was made fun of a few times where I felt that I was really afraid of being judged, so I was basically a loner throughout High School, I was able to graduate High School but college where I was really alone, and I couldn’t really socialize and then my OCD became really severe where I had to leave college and I spend a couple of years in treatments so I didn’t socialize in those years either. Then the pandemic came in and also didn’t really socialize. I did made friends that few years from a social anxiety meetup group and one of them is my best friend and I’m grateful for this friendship. I started working for the first time last year and now I’ve been employed for the past year now. My boss and supervisors has told me that they don’t see me as shy/timid when I talk to customers and I make them laugh at times because since I’m working I do my job to help them and improve my social skills. It’s great! But outside of it, it’s different because I have no reason to talk to anyone due to fear of rejection when I approach anyone in a conversation. The thing that bothers me the most, is that now I realized that I’m getting older and doing better with myself, I look back in my past and I think to myself , “Why I didn’t do this when I was young.” It’s scaring me that in December I’m turning 26 and I never dated anyone, I wasted my youth years and I missed out on my teen years and early 20’s due to social anxiety and Mental Health struggles, and I’ll never get it back those years, the fun care free years of fun, teen love, going to parties, having fun.. It’s like now that I’m in my mid 20’s, it’s like now it’s not so fun, and it’s full responsibilities, and worst of all, I didn’t get to enjoy those years, and If I start socializing and meeting new people, I won’t have new stories and exciting experiences I had and they’ll think I’m boring and I’ll struggle with dating because of it and also with my social anxiety and lack of social skills. Everytime, I see people around my age or younger, there with their group of friends and partners and I start beating myself up for it. I just want to know how do I move on from it? Am I alone in this?
1 comment
First have a hug here, *sending virtual hug*
You’re not clearly alone about this but doesn’t mean that what you’re experiencing is trivial. Just think about the billions of people there is and imagine that in a 1-10 ratio about 6 or 7 still regret the life they have lived on and can’t seem to focus on their present. All of us are living with regrets. But for someone like you who is still trying to solve it, give yourself a pat in the back, you deserve it😊. You have endured and progress well through all this hardships. You can see that where your coworkers have mentioned your attitude at work. Great Job🥳
Having ideals that are not followed is okay and if it doesn’t work, don’t let yourself stop you from doing what is was supposed to be. Drive yourself that you can do it instead.
For the people who made fun of your shyness, please send me their address so I can give them a pair of slaps to places that hurt HAHAHA JOKE, being shy is not a weakness at all and judgement sometimes is a sort of pre basis as to how a person should treat the other person. A sort of understanding process.
In terms of being regretful, looking back at the past, or saying “why didn’t I do that when I was young”, the past serves as a lesson for the future and being able to do it now what you can’t do back then is a big step and can create possible opportunities for you. Don’t mind your age going up without experiencing most of what others have already done, we all have our own timelines and process so trust in yourself that it’ll somehow happen soon enough. Don’t be holed up and be pressed to do it all before you reached a certain age
In the matter of dating, if someone gets offed about the way you are, just treat that to be a meaning of “oh I guess we’re not meant for each other then” and not beat yourself up for it. All people have their own preferences and each individual takes care of themselves first, and they won’t even notice that they have already hurt someone. Clearly it’s not your own fault but theirs
( Being selfish is okay sometimes if you’re not stepping on someone else through the process. Always make yourself first in some situations)
P. S. Sorry about any grammatical errors haha English is not my first language