Btw it’s a college for age 16-18/19 so it’s not like university.
I started going last September and did 3 a-levels but I dropped out and did a different course for people who struggle with mainstream education and stuff like that.
I dropped out because I couldn’t make any friends and it got to the point where teachers were trying to arrange for random people to be my friends which is embarrassing and it never worked. And also I had big gaps in lessons and I was too scared to go out into town by myself so I would just sit in the library for four hours doing nothing. And I was too scared to eat the whole day.
I think even after doing that other course, when I go back it will just be the same and I won’t be able to make friends. And I will be a year behind everyone else my age. And because I did that course, I haven’t actually been doing any studying for almost a whole year and I’ve forgotten how to write essays. I could barely even write a paragraph when I last tried. Also one of my a-levels that I’m gonna do is German but I haven’t been to a German lesson for a long time so I think I’ve forgotten most German and the other people in my class will be more up to date. And I will have to do lots of presentations.
I’m mostly scared about speaking to people and making friends. I cry just thinking I won’t be able to make friends because my therapist made me realise I’ve never really had friends before I don’t think I ever will I’m too quiet.