I’m at a loss for words right now. Me (M24) and my girlfriend (F24) have been dating for about 6 years now. We have had a bit of a rocky relationship due to distance, the military, and other factors, but i felt that we have been doing really good this last year. She has been living in my apartment with me rent free for 2 years while she finishes college or gets a good job. I bought a ring and was going to propose next month and I had told all our friends about it.
Well, today I come home early from a hard shift. I’m on night shift at a police department and I got home at about 3AM. The apartment was empty which has never happened. Her car was outside so I got concerned for her safety. I thought she may have attempted suicide or something along those lines. She has had thoughts in the past and I never in a million years thought that she would cheat.
I called her several times and texted my best friend who lives in the complex. He lied to my face and said that he hadn’t seen her. I run into her outside our building with tears streaming down her face. I ask what’s wrong and she tells me we need to go inside and talk. I’m concerned and confused but I follow her up.
She then informs me that she has been cheating on me and sleeping with that friend for over 5 months. Ever since she found a blonde hair in our 10 year old couch. (My step brother is blonde BTW). She told me that she feels like she can’t have conversations about these things with me but anything would be better than going behind my back for sex.
I asked our mutual friends if they knew and they said they did. They thought we were on the down slope anyway so that somehow made it okay.
I left for work today and told her not to be here when I got back. I have now gotten back from work and completely broken down now that all her stuff is gone.
Do I regret kicking her out? Am I angry, sad, disappointed? I don’t know what to think. Do I try and salvage this or do what seems like impossible and move on. I asked her to talk to me so I can get some closure but she’s stated shes drunk and refusing my texts.
She was the most important thing in my life and now I feel like I’ve lost all meaning.
12 comments
Ditch the friends too while you’re at it. Who the hell can let that happen to someone they care about?
Its shite what happened to you but you will move on and get over it. Make sure you find something to do in your down time and not just drinking.
What you do is up to you. That being said if you decide to work it out you both have a lot to do.
>She then informs me that she has been cheating on me and sleeping with that friend for over 5 months. Ever since she found a blonde hair in our 10 year old couch. (My step brother is blonde BTW)
Why didn’t she stop to ask herself if there were any blonds in y’all’s family that visited?
This makes me question if she was being impulsive.
>She told me that she feels like she can’t have conversations about these things with me but anything would be better than going behind my back for sex.
WHY didn’t she feel like she could talk to you before she decided to cheat?
This sounds like a mixture of a lack of communication and impulsiveness.
If you get back with her, hold off on that proposal. Get couples counseling and maybe individual therapy as well.
Propose only when you feel the trust has been re established and the relationship has been healed.
The real question is why she did that? Did you fail to satisfy her?
Move on and get a new friend group.
They are her friends, even if they originally were hers. She’s told them some sort of story, aka lies, and made them think it’s ok for her to cheat on you and cover it up. Pretty standard situation for cheaters.
You have to break up and go no contact. That whole group of people are shit.
She is making excuses. None of them justify cheating on you for several months. She is trash and so are your so called friends. Leave them all behind and move on. Do not take her back. You will never fully trust her again and it will eat at you constantly worrying about what she is doing when she is out of sight. You deserve better.
Your gf cheated with your friend & Your friends knew but kept it a secret…dang double homicide. You need to cut off all of them.
Lol, that bitch is for the streets. Even in the world of excuses those are incredibly poor.
New GF, New friends. No contact the lot of them.
It’s a great opportunity to start fresh, move somewhere new and start again.
Do not. I repeat do not go back. No matter how much it hurts. How much it sucks. No matter how much you love her or need her. It’s all bullshit. If you get through the next few months you will be happy. How do ik? Been there. But if you get back with her then in the next few months you will be miserable. No offense but you will be thinking about how your own friend plowed your girl. How do ik? Also been there. Same girl btw different times. Which is the biggest point. She will cheat again. And the mere fact it was with your friend says it all. She does not love you. She does not care about you and if she does she would of never did this. I can never understand why people get with s/o friends or family. Nastiest people I swear.
It’s the right thing you kick her out. Your best friend, mutual friend and your ex, they all betray your trust and lie to you for months. They’re not worth it and don’t deserve to be in your life again. Focus on yourself, be strong, you will meet someone much better than them.
Lose them all.