Struggling to communicate with my husband who is emotionally unavailable. Advice please.

I (32 f) am married to my husband (34 M) we’ve been married 6 years with kids and it’s been a journey for sure. He’s shy and struggles to say no to others but this is not the case at home. His family is quite toxic l. I was previously frozen out by his family after his parents sold them a sob story. Husband struggled to support me or call them out. I’m lc with most of them these days. He visits whenever he wants which isn’t often because he doesn’t like going without me which is very frustrating.

His aunt and uncle apologised for the past and we bonded with time. We’d visit each other regularly. This changed when our second child was a few months old and we’d bought our house. His aunt started going back to her old way and criticising my parenting and comparing my child to others. I tried to be patient and redirect her whenever she did, explained every child is different and that professionals and us parents are happy… but next time she called she’d bring it up again. I even overheard her comparing my house and child with her daughter when they came to visit me to see the house. that felt like the last straw and I started to back off. Ironic since she’s complained how she never got to move out of her in laws house like I did and that I’m lucky my husband left for me. Her daughters were also bullied by her mil but neither parents defended them. I can’t understand continuing your own trauma.

When she realised she could no longer get through to me my husbands aunt had her husband reach out to my husband (she’s done this before)to invite us to their house (knowing he struggles to say no)

I told my husband I don’t mind visiting on occasions but that I’m trying to distance myself and don’t want to go. He said they invited us all (this was over text he was at work) when he came home I waited until he’d ate and I put the kids to bed (few hours later) and sat down and said I wanted to reach some kind of compromise about his aunt and uncle. His voice became loud and he got annoyed saying there was nothing to talk about. I became frustrated saying I just wanted to talk like a normal couple. The thing is when he watches tv he doesn’t like to talk. I told him it wasn’t fair for him to assume I’d visit for him when he wasn’t even willing to reach a compromise with me in regards to boundaries. I told him I was willing to go if we had something in place. For example, if they tried to critique me or our children he would need to speak up (he never does only I do). He just refused to give me an answer. He completely shut me out and wouldn’t respond when I called his name. We’ve come so far in other areas but when it comes to conflict regarding his family it’s still a sore Spot for him. We’re supposed to be visiting his uncles tomorrow but I don’t know what to do at this point. His uncle is assuming we’re all visiting since he invited us all.

If there’s anyone whose been through this or even played the role Of my husband I’m open to understand both sides. Even general advice is appreciated I feel so torn right now.

Tl:dr I’ve been avoiding and distanced myself from husbands aunt and uncle due to their inappropriate comments on my family but we’ve recently been invited to their house . My husband can’t speak up or place Boundaries but expect me to go.