She initiates the conversation and then replies to what I say. I became a machine of asking questions and she a machine of replying them.
– When I ask if she likes to talk -> She says yes
– sometimes she starts the conversation saying “hi”. (sometimes I start it)
– She rarely says “and you?” to my questions, very rarely
– When I talk about myself, she will comment about it, even give suggestions but she’ll never ask more questions to go deeper on the topic.
– she is very shy and says she is bad at carrying the conversation
Our conversation is basically a whole day of me asking questions about her day and she replying all of it. Seems unnatural, what should I do?
5 comments
I mean some people are just bad at texting, she may be better irl?
Also just a general tip in any friendship think to yourself “what does this person bring me” if you’re the one carrying the convo always then don’t stress about any issues regarding this friendship too much.
I’m not saying stop talking to someone if they don’t bring much to you, but if any problems arise don’t let it have a big impact on you.
You could just text them for the sake of maintaining contacts etc.
This person might have experienced a lot of rejection and might not be used to having people want to have conversations with her. She might be scared that asking further questions could be seen as intrusive and push people away.
If you can step back for a second and consider your post here, you’re probably not the first person to have these thoughts about her, and there’s a good chance she’s concerned about pushing you away.
During a conversation when you start to notice this happening, I’d mention something like “Hey, just wondering– I noticed you like sharing a lot of information, but you don’t seem to ask a lot of questions. I really like to share information and stories, too, and I’d love to tell you more about them.”
I mostly wait for something funny to start the next convo
It sounds like the conversation is suffering from burnout.
STOP TEXTING and start talking… Go a full day without texting and then have a phone / video conversation or better yet, some actual face to face time.
Just let the conversation die.