My (29F) friend (30F) is acting really standoffish towards me and I don’t know why. We became friends a few months ago. Recently he has been acting weird. He talks to all my other friends but rarely to me. He tries very hard not to be alone with me and won’t make eye contact. He won’t sit by me in a group setting. He won’t friend me on FB or follow me back on IG even though he has friended everyone else. He even posted an IG story right after I followed him, which basically showed that he chose not to follow back.
Last week, we were hanging out in a group setting at a bar, and when I walked in, he was just staring at me (but not in a romantic way, more like he was judging me, which was really unnerving). This happened a second time this week, too. It’s actually really hurting my feelings because I don’t understand why he doesn’t want to be my friend. It’s strange because he flirts with a lot of girls and is really friendly towards them, but I feel like I am just as attractive as them? But he almost acts like I am gross?
He very occasionally makes comments to me about my appearance like he “likes my smile” and banters back and forth, which then really confuses me. Also, I don’t like him romantically, I just want to be his friend, and I don’t think he likes me romantically either.
I think he might be avoiding me because he thinks I’m unattractive and doesn’t want to give the wrong impression? I’m so confused. I don’t know how I should interact with him? Should I just stop being his friend?
4 comments
I’d guess he has feelings for you
My guess is another one of his friends and your friends called dibs on you. Take it as a joke ,smile ,but it might be true…
There was a really attractive girl I liked once. She was stunning and she seemed to be into me. We were on a work trip together with other people for 6 days. For the first 3 days she was real flirty, so o n the third day I asked for her phone numbrr so we can meet up when the work trip ends and she gave it to me. After that she became cold for some reason. In the next 2 days she would not laugh at any of my jokes and avoided making eye contact with me, so I matched and mirrored her behaviour. On our last day of our work trip she became flirty again. She was suddenly wanting to engage in covnversations. I kept my cool and acted disintrested because I was afraid she might lose attraction for me again if I showed interest.
This guy might be going through the same thing or you might have been playing games and doing the same thing to him where you were sometimes flirty and other times cold. He might be fed up with your behavior and so decided to give you the cold shoulder all together. He might have red online that if you act disintrested towards a girl that she will be attracted to you. He might have heard from someone that you said something about him behind his back that wasn’t very nice and now he is ignoring you because of it.
My conclusion is he might have some kind of feelings towards you but you might’ve played hot’n cold in the past so he got tired and fed up with your behavior and decided to ignore you all together. I know I used to get really pissed off in the past when a girl would randomly become disintrested in me overnight.
There is no possible way you could ever know. Oh wait, you could ask him!