It was an awful idea. I’m back on them now. I’m a female who has been on fluoxetine on and off since the age of 14, and I’m pretty sure it has affected my sexual development since I’ve never been able to orgasm in my entire life. I even bought a vibrator and tried EVERYTHING to orgasm, but I simply can’t.
Anyways, I never thought it was a big deal until I started having sex. I always thought those orgasms you see in porn were fake, but apparently I was wrong. I get mildly jealous at my gf’s orgasms (they sound/look pretty blissful). I laughed when she said she “met god” during one of her orgasms.
We’ve talked about my inability to orgasm, and it’s honestly frustrating. I don’t know how to cope with this because I don’t let her do anything to me since I know it’ll just frustrate the both of us.
Any tips on how to cope with this?
35 comments
Yes, I recommend you research psilocybin mushroom therapy to knock out the depression and bedroom issues with one stone
Fluoxetine is very strong, I took for some time and I even an erection became hard to get (it is always very easy to have one). Ask tour doctor for something natural
I don’t have any advice but I’m starting on antidepressants and I’m scared to death of losing my sex drive and ability to orgasm. A week in and I’m still good, but I don’t know what the future holds
This is a far more personalized issue than what can be answered by reddit. Talk to your psych. And never just quit antidepressants without your doctor knowing.
And yes. Most orgasms shown in porn are way too fake. If your gf regularly has such orgasms she is the exception not the norm
Have you talked to your doctor about this? I’ve had the same problem, then I changed my meds for a similar and my sex life is great now
Escitalopram has not harmed my sex drive
Your best bet is to talk to your doctor because these days they have meds that don’t impact that. It’s a very common issue and a part of mental health too, there is zero reason to feel embarrassed.
I used to skip my dose on the weekends, which was enough to bring back the orgasm ability on those days but not enough to negatively impact me in terms of depression. But obviously that’s a bit reckless so be very careful with that.
Edit: [A study on drug holidays found that they worked with sertraline and paroxetine but not with your med fluoxetine](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/7573593/)
I would suggest asking your doctor about Wellbutrin. It helped me get my libido back after I got diagnosed with depression.
TALK TO YOUR DOCTOR! Seriously be open about it and they may be able to help. Find a different medicine or other things.
Are you also on hormonal BC?
I started citalopram, couldn’t get there – stopped using my nuva ring and now I’m getting there several times in one sitting.
I use cannabis to help too
Fluoxetine is the worst! Was on it for 2 weeks, still facing the repercussions of it because I can’t orgasm properly anymore.
That happened to me with several medications, but not all of them. There are meds that won’t affect you in the same way, you’re just going to have to talk to your doctor so you can try something else and they can help you transition safely. Believe me, they would want to know that you can’t orgasm! That’s not a pleasant side effect for anyone to deal with.
TALK TO YOUR DOCTOR, don’t ask here.
Tell him to switch to another antidepressant with lesser sexual effects, I could not orgasm on Zoloft and the doctor switched my perscription to Escitalopram and now I’m totally fine.
As always with medication it’s subjective what works for us and hard to recommend something to others. But personally i have had exactly these issues with SSRIs that were just too limiting. I switched to an NDRI (buproprion e.g wellbutrin) medication instead and for me it’s made all the difference. The setting in side effects are quite bad, but once tuned in i think it’s great. Slightly increased energy level and zero disturbance on sexuality.
Its doctor time, I had similar issues, but it’s surmountable – I’d also suggest reading Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski its more aimed at couples but it has a lot of great info about getting to know yourself
I found I had sexual dysfunction (couldn’t orgasm) with Zoloft.
You don’t have to suffer that though. You speak with your psychiatrist and they can try you on other medications and see if others work better than fluoxetine.
My girlfriend had the same problem with an antidepressant, no matter what we did she couldn’t have orgasms. The only solution was to change the medication to one that did not impact her sex life. For months there were several attempts to change drugs until she managed to find one that did not have serious side effects.
I believe that if this affects an important part of your life, you need to see a doctor and change your medication. At that time many people told her “women don’t orgasm every time they have sex, that’s normal”, just change doctors and keep trying.
To anyone saying “I take this medicine, try you too” or “do this therapy”, please don’t. Mental health is way more complex, the only safe approach is to see a doctor.
While there is now conflicting studies suggesting serotonin levels may not be related to depression after all, and it’s well known that SSRI’s can make it difficult to impossible to orgasm, it’s never a good idea to just cold turkey a medication without consulting a doctor.
My girlfriend has what I can only imagine are incredible orgasms, but at first they took a very, very long time to (ahem) come. Like 30 or 40 minutes of oral with my jaws and tongue aching. She had never had regular orgasms before we met (she was 22 then), having been on SSRI’s for all of her adult life.
But with some persistence she finally came, and I think there’s an argument to be made that once your body “learns” how, it gets easier. Now she can cum inside of 5 minutes sometimes. She is still on the same SSRI (but it’s not fluox).
Maybe ask your doctor to switch medication or try a lower dosage, it’s possible that your doctor may even eventually wean you off them altogether but gradually. Even if SSRI’s aren’t actually helping depression issues, as a recent study suggests, you can just quit overnight and expect your body not to react negatively.
You can’t quit cold turkey, it’s cutting off the spigot of chemicals in your brain. Strange shit will happen.
Talk to your doc, maybe try therapy and wean off of them with the guidance of your doctor.
You might even want to talk to a sex therapist. Anti depressants are so common, maybe they have a work around to get an orgasm?
All else fails throw a hitachi magic wand at it.
Ask you Dr if you can stack a small dosage of Wellbutrin to offset the sexual side effects.
What I would do is reach out to King Harvest Wellness and replace the Prozac with cannabis oil (Synergy PM specifically) and while you’re weaning off the Prozac super slowly I’d gradually increase the cannabis oil, and then once you’re off the Prozac I might continue the cannabis for a little and then just do as needed because there isn’t a dependency with it, this is so you don’t feel the withdrawal side effects from coming off the Prozac or minimal. I’ve done this.
Was weeded off mine of 17 years last year. I am not on a new one yet (Going to be on a new one). I will say this took a year but I never knew I was in the higher sex drive category. I am kind of scared it will completely tank it again and not orgasm again. Don’t really have advice to fix it but I get it.
Wait the porn ones aren’t fake? Signed, someone who’s been on lexapro since they were 14.
Maybe try the antidepressant Bupropion (brand name: wellbutrin). I as a man had sexual problems on SSRIs but after the switch to bupropion i’m fine.
I was on Lexapro and it killed my sex drive to the point I was turned off by hugs, kisses and hand holding. It was a hard dark time in my relationship but my partner has the patience of a saint. I don’t take them or any meds at the moment though. Just lettuce it helps more for me.
Hey there. What a bummer you haven’t been able to experience orgasm yet. You might consider looking into tantra. It’s a slow build up process to try to help you and your partner better connect to yourselves and your bodies. It can be super helpful for people having difficulty orgasming. It does require a commitment, it takes time! But can be SO worth it.
r/tantricsex- there’s lots of info in the sidebar!
My doctor switched me to Trintellix when fluoxetine murdered my libido and we were trying for a kid. Talk with your doctor.
It’s a pain having to get insurance to cover it and getting the manufacturer’s discount, but it ended up being $10 a month for me.
Don’t be afraid to talk to your doctor. They need all the info. Be super honest with them. Wanting to have a healthy sex life is part of your health.
Also be open with your partner about this. It sounds like you have a good relationship, but it can be stressful dealing with bedroom issues (even when they are nobody’s fault). Reassure your partner you’re happy with them and let them know you are trying to figure this out together. Once you get your meds under control, you’ll have a whole other issue of exploring yourself. Having good communication will be very helpful, and enjoyable.
I can orgasm on Sertraline it just takes 40 minutes
not sure that helps cause you probably arent finding a man that lasts 40 minutes
I had was on prozac for a long time, when I first started it or upped my dose, I felt almost numb sexually for ages and could barely get to a rubbish orgasm. I’m on different meds now and it’s all much better. Definitely get professional advice though, they all effect people completely differently.
I’m on fluoxetine and have been since 15 years old. I’m 28, and not a problem at all. I guess it affects everyone differently.
Personally, I’ve decided to just stop trying to orgasm. It would lead to me crying during sex because I got so frustrated. I still very much enjoy myself and love to be focused on, I just don’t do it with an end goal
I went down on Zoloft but it was fucking me up so I had to go back up and there wasn’t a difference sex-wise from the tiny change
Good luck with your medication journey!
Seems like everyone has gone over the medication side of things, so I’m just going to plug r/becomingorgasmic. It’s a sub for people (mostly women) sharing success stories and struggles orgasming for the first time.
Tell doctor to change
The sheer amount of people on antidepressants shocks me I don’t mean any disrespect at all and I fully believe in mental health being important but if your antidepressants prevent you from enjoying sex isn’t that kind of defeating the purpose.