I’m m20 and he’s m11. We’ve never gotten along and I had always assumed it’s just sibling bickering or whatever but he’s getting older and bigger. At his age I know I had thoughts about things and I cared.
He’s pretty much the ultimate dude especially for his age. Star swimmer, attractive, tall for his age, tons of friends and just super funny and caring.
I had a rough childhood because I took my parents divorce hard early on (he’s technically my half brother). I’m alternative, listen to metal music, have piercings and tattoos, I’m introverted, and by regular standards just a loser. I suck at life in general and it’s a problem I want to fix.
He’s always asking to hangout and do stuff but also always saying how much he hates me. He asks for me to leave the house so his friends don’t see me.
I can tell he wants the idolized version of me. The cool guy who plays video games with him and stuff but it’s just not me. I can tell he hates that I’m not what he sees on tv and honestly it hurts.
I want to love him but it feels like we’re from different worlds and I don’t want to corrupt him. I just want him to live his life and be who he is because it’s awesome. Part of me wants him to hate me so that he doesn’t turn out like me.
I just know he thinks I hate him too. That I despise him and look down on him.
I just wish we could love each other without him admiring me because secretly I’m jealous of him. What can I even do at this point? I feel like just suffering his hatred is the best way.
3 comments
Dude, when you all get over yourselves you’ll realise how silly this all is and it’s just time wasted on self doubt. You’re not saving anyone from yourself. Just love and support your little brother, he doesn’t hate you, he’s just dealing with complex emotions. He wants to be your brother and your friend. You don’t have to be the ideal version of anything, life is messy, people are messy, just do your best to love him.
You better start working on appreciating yourself more asap. Based on the list of your interests, there’s nothing that indicates that you’re so very “uncool” compared to your brother. Only that you see yourself as such.
He’ll grow up to be his own person regardless. You don’t have to be his role model.
And I sure hope that the whole thing about him asking you to leave the house is just a case of teenage rebellion.
Pick something you both like and do it with him regularly. TELL him how awesome he is. A regular fun thing together will make all the difference in the world.