So, my family is kind of complicated, my father died when I was 13 and my mom never wanted to be a mother. When I was 16 she Emancipate me (made me responsible for my own decisions, legally speaking, documents signed and all that), since then i’ve been paying for my own stuff, except food and home bills, until last year. My mom decide if i was going to keep living in her house, i would pay half (split between me
and my brother) of the bills and 1/3 of the food. No problem, if you think about it, it’s her house after all. But, there are 4 people who live in the house, my mom, my grandma, me and my brother. I can’t afford paying all those bills every month for a 4 people house, I am an internship at a tech company and make barely a minimum wage, and by weekends I work as a bartender for a nightclub, so I can pay for my college. My mom is currently paying only 1/3 of the food and none of the bills, and my grandma doesn’t pay nothing, both of them make 5x the minimum wage here.
Recently my mom offered me 500 a month to move out, to seek an apartment for myself and move. When my girlfriend parents heard about that, they offered me to move in with them and i would have to pay nothing, they both agreed on that and my girlfriend as well.
Now, I know i may sound like a spoiled person that don’t want to pay any bills, but i do pay my stuff, since i was 16 and with the currently crisis at my country (Brazil) a minimum wage can never afford a house this big (4 bedrooms) even split when we split the bills in 2.
Me and my girlfriend, we are together for about 11 months, and we never even had a discussion, it’s being a perfect relationship since we started dating.
Moving with her would mean I can save money to actually buy or rent an apartment, it means i can pay for a therapist’s (which i need and can’t afford nowadays), i can start going to the gym and would not be struggling to pay for my graduation.
Is moving in with her parents a bad or good choice?
TL;DR! I want to move in with her parents so I can save money to properly start a life for myself.
5 comments
I get you man. I think you should talk to her make sure her parents are okay with it first. You should make sure you want to be with this woman for good. If you really feel this way then you should. Make sure you are able to provide skills like cleaning up and other such things to help out. It looks good. I am in a similar boat where I will leave my house due to what has been done to me by my family and brother.
Moving in after less than a year is maybe a little quick but if they have offered I don’t see why it would be bad, just be sure to make yourself useful and contribute and make sure you have a plan for if you need to move out.
Just make sure you have a solid backup plan in case you need to move out. I don’t think it’s inherently bad to move in quickly if everyone is comfortable with it; my wife and I moved in together after 3 months of dating. But we were both renting our own apartments, so the risk was very low and both of us had an easy backup plan.
Try it out. If that doesn’t work, get you own place.
How are you going to contribute once you are there? Rent free should not mean responsibility free. If it is going to work you need to be a value added person. Make a plan that you WILL stick to without nagging or reminding. Take over cleaning the kitchen? Do the vacuuming everyday? If you are going to be a positive in the household, then ok. If you are doing it to get a free-ride….