We were on the phone one night and she randomly asked me if we could “smash” we have talked about the subject before but never involving me. Some context, we went on a date a while back and it was her first date. I (male) had recently gotten out of a relationship and wasn’t over my ex (just moved on). So I ended thongs between us. On mostly good terms. I wished her the best and moved on. I really liked her and she seemed to feel the same. She was looking for love, and I wasn’t. We were on the phone last night and she asked me, I hesitated for a second and asked her if she was sure. She seemed annoyed that I asked. She said she would rather it be me than some random dude. And I agreed with her. (Losing your v card as a girl fucking hurts) I didn’t want her to lose it to some guy that doesn’t gaf about her so I said yes. I told her it should be special and she said she doesn’t care. I bought her favorite snacks and drinks and even some candles. Anything else I could do to make it a little more special for her?
37 comments
lmfao youre gonna make it weird, she already said she doesnt care
Foreplay. Make sure she’s hot and bothered. (Which will help with the cherry popping pain.) Sext with her some. Ask her what turns her on. Get the awkward see-me-naked out of the way with pics if she’s willing to send them. Tell
Her how much you care.
I agree with others, no need to make it a big deal, but also I think the candy thing is kind of sweet. Although if I was on her side I would question if you were looking for a relationship or not, so make it clear if you don’t want one. Don’t throw out some perfectly good candy though!
How old are you guys because that makes a difference
Also do you want to date her?
These change everything
aftercare
Buy lube. Good Clean Love is my favorite lube.
Also, buy condoms, because you two don’t want to deal with a pregnancy scare.
Do lots of foreplay (preferably lots of going down on her first, and make her cum like that if you can).
For actual sex, go slow and use lube. It may or may not hurt. Personally, I enjoyed the first time I had sex and wasn’t in pain. But that was because we did lots of foreplay, he made sure I came first, he made sure I was dripping wet, and he went really slow.
Boundaries. Have boundaries at the hand, safe words, watch how she reacts, ask her in person, as you put it in and when you’re in if she wants to continue. People’s opinions change when they do something.
The snacks and drinks are really sweet imo
It shouldn’t hurt that bad for her. With enough foreplay it shouldn’t hurt, and if it does and she doesn’t want to push through it you should stop and do something else. Taking her virginity doesn’t necessarily mean you *have* to do penetration. You both can still have a great time with hands and mouths.
If you feel comfortable enough to ask, see if she does masterbate and what does she like or what will feel good so you have a starting point 🙂 good luck and much appreciation that you are trying to make it a positive experience for her!
First of all, the entire idea around virginity is overblown. There’s way more importance placed on it than is reasonable. It’s not actually that big of a deal. Don’t make it weird. “It should be special for you.” Stop. Stop it. No. It’s significant, sure. But it’s not THAT significant. In general, too many people put either too much or too little importance on sex. And especially virginity. Everyone needs to calm down. Find a happy and healthy balance in the middle.
As for the act itself: Be enthusiastic. Go slow and be gentle. Contrary to popular belief, first time sex should NOT be bloody or painful at all. Very minimal pain or discomfort at most. If there’s pain, stop, you’re doing it wrong. Don’t believe the old myths perpetuated by popular media.
Communicate and be receptive to feedback. She may have no experience, but she can still tell when something is wrong with her own body. “Wait, it was feeling better the other way. Yes, there it is. That way is feeling nice for me.”
Have plenty of items ready. Condoms, obviously. You should always have condoms anyway. If you don’t have condoms, you’re weird and I WILL judge you for it, ya weirdo. (I jest, but seriously, just keep a stockpile for convenience) Have some lube ready as well. For condoms and lube, it’s better to have them and not need them than to need them and not have them. I would also include some toys and stuff. A vibrator, dildo, plug, blindfold, fuzzy handcuffs, etc. are good to have. Also have towels or tissues nearby for quick and easy clean up.
You being that careful with her is really sweet, it made my day
Enjoy yourselves, and be sure to align your relationship expectations after it
Use lubrication. It might help lessen the pain. And don’t do it while under time constraint. You need time to do what the others suggested (aftercare, etc…)
I don’t have a ton of particular advice, but sex is not supposed to hurt, even the first time. That’s a huge myth and it leads to women accepting bad sexual experiences. You should be ensuring that this experience is not only not painful, but enjoyable.
Use lube. Make sure there is plenty of foreplay. Check in often. Engage in aftercare—don’t just get dressed and leave. Communicate—ask her what she likes, how she prefers to be touched, how things feel, etc. Don’t do anything new without asking consent first.
Don’t be to romantic if you don’t want a relationship. Snacks are great but the candles and stuff might be a bit much but just have fun. Because if you go all romantic / Disney prince on her she is not going to know what to think.
Let her know that you can stop any time. She can change her mind at any point, and you’ll be totally fine.
I had sex for the first time on a 2nd date and really wanted it to be casual. It sounds like she might not want to make a big deal out of it, or she wouldn’t suggest it so quickly into hanging out with you. That’s just a guess though.
yes, sext with her, thats how i lost my virginity in the 80s, I would beep my boyfriend 4 5683 968 followed by 3825 63
I can related, to the sexual part, but not exactly with the relationship mess. Am gonna get laid with her too, soon enough. And I’ve been thinking about it a lot, so that all goes well under the sheets.
I just wanna have one question with people commenting. What does the rose taste like, down there??
You are not taking anything you are sharing something
MUSIC PLAYLIST OF SWEET STUFF. Followed by some bangers. Always works.
Actually, sex only tends to hurt for women if we aren’t turned on enough, are too nervous (and therefore the vagina can’t relax), or if there’s a medical issue… or if the guy is just too big. But in most cases, if turned on and enough lube is used, sex isn’t painful. Just be sure to not just shove it in her.
LUBE! – massage before, maybe food and aftercare of cuddles and if can bubble bath 🙂
pull out and cum on her back like a gentleman. Nobody wants a kid after their first time fuckin.
Throw some rose petals on the bed. Can’t go wrong there. 🙂
I recently just lost my virginity and I can tell you that good communication can really help the experience be positive. Foreplay is a must and use lube. My first time wasn’t painful because my partner checked in on me and paid attention to my needs and how I was feeling. Aftercare is really great too; ask her how she’s feeling and help her clean up. I’d suggest even helping Her find her clothes for her. Small things like that are appreciated and really add to the experience
You should update us!
Newsflash, anyone can lose their virginity to a shitty person. My ex took my virginity, then dumped me, then ghosted me for a few months… now that’s just cold
Ask her what kind of music she likes. Honor that or playlist around it. But then it’s up to you to make it a non traumatic experience because she will associate any experience she has with that music from now til then. You sound like a good person. Keep being a good person.
Sex shouldn’t hurt unless you want it to. No matter if it is your 1st or 50’000th time.
Be very attentive to foreplay and make sure she is wet enough before you try to enter. I would also wait a few seconds after you get it in to give her vag time to adjust. Be gentle
WEAR A CONDOM.
She obviously likes you and trusts you, and the fact that you prepared thoughtfully and are still asking for advice on how to make it good shows that trust isn’t misplaced – good work man.
I agree with another post here about boundaries, in 2 ways – first that you make it clear that if she’s uncomfortable to tell you, if she wants to stop, if she wants to change it up, give you advice, etc – that all of that is welcome and you want her to communicate and have a good time. The best sex is about communicating and give and take.
The other boundary I would say is to make it clear you like her, respect her, find her sexy, but you do only want to be friends – just reading your history you dated, you put a stop to it, but you still talk, and talk about sex, and she’s now asked you to be her first – she could be harboring feelings and have some thoughts (conscious or unconscious) that this will bring you closer together or transform into you suddenly falling for her, or catch feelings from the physical experience. I would gently but clearly set the expectation that this is just fun friend sex and don’t be romantic unless you actually want to go down that path. Don’t be disappointed or surprised if she gets upset that you don’t catch feelings from the sex.
I think it’s sweet you’re asking. I’m married to the person I lost my virginity to and I think just taking your time is important. It doesn’t need to be like a movie, but being sweet and slow and patient goes a long way
Make sure wherever it’s happening, the space is clean and tidy, and smells good. Make sure of course you have privacy, and you’ll be alone. Nothing worse than having mom and dad or sister or brother walk in. In the beginning especially, just try to go slow. So she can get used to the step by step. Take the time to go over her whole body so that she can be fully aroused before you try to have sex with her.
My first time having sex was very uncomfortable because we were hiding from parents, in a smelly room, and he went straight to the fucking instead of trying to turn me on first.
Okay, hear me out. When you take it, where do you keep it. I am paying a thousand bucks a month for storage containers for these things, better ideas?
Why did you end thongs with her? A girl should be able to wear them. That’s so controlling 😉 😂