so i (22f) asked out my coworker (24m) 3 months ago. originally he was apprehensive because of… let’s say cultural differences, so we started hooking up. a month in i confronted him saying i can’t go any further if this isn’t going to be romantic. he agreed he was beginning to gain feelings and for us to go forward because he felt romance, too.
so we basically see each other 2-4 times a week depending on what we have going on, lots of quality time. we’ve been on approximately 4 dates (that i all planned, but he paid for) i do my fair share of paying for things though with buying snacks he likes, dinners when we just hang out (doordash), etc. basically it’s equal, i digress.
he has met a few of my close friends (along with my roommates who are also my besties) and i have met one of his closest friends and from what he tells me, people in his life know about me.
i have always made my feelings about him known because i’m super extroverted and open but he is more a closed book and is a little more introverted, so doesn’t feel as comfortable talking about his feelings.
i guess my question is, where do we go from here? i’ve never gotten past this stage with 3 previous men and seem to always end up in the situationship context. am i doing something wrong? should i bring up possibly making it official? also we are exclusively seeing each other romantically and physically. please give me some insight into getting to the next level
1 comment
If you are exclusively seeing each other romantically and physically you are quite literally already in a committed relationship regardless of whether you’ve uttered those words or not.
It IS official if you have both agreed to be monogamous and not date/touch others.
You do need to have “the talk” though and figure out if you’re on the same page about where you’re heading. “Situationship” and “FWB” are really meaningless terms—-they’re all relationships and are used to avoid admitting you’re in a relationship but it doesn’t change that it is still a relationship.
Work on improving your communication skills and on building trust. There’s really no place for games or fear in a healthy relationship. You need to be able to bring up things that concern you and discuss them.