What’s the best insult you have ever heard?

31 comments

1. Mine are “What a fuckup. You could dunk that boy in a barrel of tits and he’d come out sucking his thumb.” & “I will replace you with a button.” & “You must believe in reincarnation. Nothing could become as stupid as you in just one lifetime.”

2. Are you as stupid as you want to be?

3. Were you born an asshole, or is that something you learned?

4. ‘You’re kind of like Rapunzel except instead of letting down your hair you let down everyone in your life.’

5. *posing seductively* “I present you with my body”

   “I don’t suppose you kept the receipt”

6. You’re not the dumbest person on the planet, but you better pray they don’t die.

   Sharp as a marble that one.

   The bar for you was so low I didn’t think it could get any lower, yet here you are doing the limbo dance in hell with the devil.

7. Were you born this way or did your mom beat you as a child.

   But if you really want an insult, call a Greek or an Armenian, a turk. Just be ready to be in a fight.

8. not an insult, more of a complaint.

   “it’s hotter than two rats fucking in a wool sock”

9. Ya see that tree over there? Go apologize to it for wasting the oxygen it works so hard to produce.

10. Not the harshest or nastiest, but my favorites have always been an older woman saying something like “bless their heart” in response to hearing a completely stupid comment. It’s always said with an almost sweet/compassionate tone, yet really speaks volumes.

11. They are so stupid they couldn’t pour piss out of a boot if the instructions were on the bottom.

12. Este gran triple hijuputa de mierda, gonorrea malparido huevon *breathes*

13. “Not so pretty when it speaks”

14. On your funeral day, they’ll congratulate the widow.

15. My bf was arguing with a dude in a parking lot of a gay bar. Straight-shaming(?) him and my bf said “dude I’m gay” and the other guy said:

    “Your mom sucks more dick than you.”

    I was so impressed with that one.

16. “You should carry a plant with you everywhere, because you are a waste of oxygen” hurts every time my mom says it too me

17. “I wish your mama had swallowed.”

18. Your garden is overgrown and your cucumbers are soft !!! –Rolf

    It really hits even harder now that I’m an adult.

19. “if we put all the village idiot in the same village, you will still be the village idiot”
    Pretty constructed one, I liked it

20. Wisdom has always chased you, but you have run too fast.

21. You’re not hot enough to act that way

22. Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Because it looks like you hit the sidewalk pretty fuckin hard.

23. Somewhere in Africa, there is one tree working very hard to produce the oxygen that keeps you alive. You owe that tree an apology.

24. Classic from Winston Churchill:

    Lady Astor says to him, “If I were your wife, I’d put poison in your tea!”

    Churchill, “If I were your husband, I’d drink it!”

25. “It looks like you drop common tier loot when defeated”

26. He’s hard to ignore. But it’s worth the effort.

27. My best friend and I did something stupid together so a lady said “… you’d think between the two of you you would at least use half a brain?!”

28. Does your ass ever get jealous of the shit that come out of your mouth?

29. Cum guzzler

30. I envy people who haven’t met you

31. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.