Hey guys, first time posting on reddit. So if I’m doing this wrong please don’t bust my balls to bad lol I was referred to here after posting on NSFW. So hopefully I’m in the right place now.
A girl I’m casually dating (we’re not a couple) likes to send me dirty pictures. She takes erotic photography as a hobby sometimes, and hey I’m not going to complain. Anyways, she sent me one a couple days ago of her blowing another guy, and another one of her with cum all over her face. And It absolutely has killed my sexual attraction for her since. Which btw, I had a lot of sexual attraction for her before than. It was some guy from the past, not since we’ve been seeing each other. And she was doing it to be sexy, just dirty photos ya know. But it was just such a turn off for me. Her and I get a long great, we’re very compatible sexually and otherwise. I basically just said that was a turn off for me, didn’t make a big deal about it, and moved past it. She apologized and sent me a different dirty picture instead as a sorry. But In all honesty I’m having a really hard time with it. I’m cool with her having partners in the past. We’re both human and I try not to be judgemental, besides I would be a total hypocrite. But it’s like, I don’t want to see that. Because now that’s how I see her. When I think of her sexually I think of her with that dudes dick in her mouth and his cum all over her face and it’s just.. gross.
Am I being ridiculous? Or are these feelings pretty based. Her and I are not serious at the moment. She’s not my girlfriend. And she didn’t do it to bother me. Part of me feels guilty. And part of me wants to walk. But at the same time she’s a pretty great partner, and it feels like a waste to throw it away. Because I do feel like things will become more serious if I allow it. Should I cut the cord? Or should I just give it some time and try to move past it? I feel very conflicted, and I guess I just need some advice from the good people on reddit.
Oh I’m a male (30) and she’s female (28) if that’s relevant.
26 comments
Put it out of your mind and move on. She sounds like a lot of fun don’t sabotage it!
Nothing weird with your feelings, I perfectly understand you.
But I wouldn’t advise drastic measures. She misjudged – it happens. Give it some time, it heals almost everything.
Just let her suck your dick and cum on her face. And think: “this is my time now”.
Those feelings are pretty “based” as you call them. You’re not being ridiculous at all.
If that ruined things for you, then that’s fine. You’re not in a serious relationship with her, so if you’re not enjoying it anymore then you can just let her know that you just feel less into it after the pictures. It’s nobody’s fault, she thought you would find the picture sexy, you found it repulsive.
If you want to try move past it you should give it a shot, but you shouldn’t feel guilty if your feelings about this casual relationship have changed.
I don’t think you are wrong feeling the way you do. I think she really shouldn’t be sending you picture of another guy especially if the other guy doesn’t know she is sending them out to other people.
How do you know this was in her past
I don’t think you’re wrong in how you feel. This is actually the first time I’ve ever heard of someone doing something like this. I understand in her head it was just harmless sexual fun so maybe try to look at it that way too and if you can’t that’s fine too there’s nothing wrong with choosing to walk away.
How is no one talking about the legality of what she did? Did the guy in the photo consent for her to send it to you? In some countries and states what she did was illegal.
Yeah i feel yah. A girl did this exact same thing with me and i couldn’t get past it. It was just dead and didnt even see her as a sexual being anymore. Just nothing.
Are people insane? Why is it ok for a woman to show pictures of another guy without consent but reverse the genders and it’s not ok? NONE are ok. It is a huge red flag and I would walk away. If she’s showing and keeping pictures of that, she will absolutely do the same with you, she won’t respect your privacy, she didn’t respect her previous partners… 🚩
This probably isn’t the girl for you. It’s ok. Move on and find the right one.
Listen to your feelings homie, they are valid.
There’s a difference from knowing someone sexual past, to fully visualizing it.
I can totally imagine that since this young woman had sent you some of her erotic photos previously, and you enjoyed seeing them, she assumed you’d appreciate seeing some others. She made a mistake, but it was an understandable mistake. Some clearer communication from her (e.g., “Hey, I have some other erotic photos of me with previous partners; would you like to see those, too?”) would have helped, but hindsight is always 20/20.
Assuming you continue to see this young woman, and possibly get more serious with her, I’d recommend that you both spend some time communicating clearly what things you each like and don’t like, sexually speaking. It sounds like her erotic photography hobby is something that is an important part of her sexual identity, so the more you know about it, and about how and why it’s important to her, the better for you both. *And* the more she knows about what things do and don’t turn you on (including which of her photos are likely to turn you on), the better as well.
as a female if a dude sent me a video/pic of him doing anything sexual with another girl (especially an ex) i’d be turned off immediately. idk, to me its a red flag 🤷🏻♀️
She for the streets bro
It’s simple, you liked this girl and felt betrayed when you saw her with another man.
I don’t know if this has been said already but this man, 99% chance, did not consent to your girlfriend sending a pic of his dick being sucked. If a man had sent a picture fucking another girl we’d all be talking about what a pos he is to send a picture with a random past partner.
as a woman I would feel hurt and offended in your shoes, even if you are not gf/bf
During a time when my wife and I were stuck in a sexual rut. I started telling her about the first time I got a blowjob while i was having sex with her. I wanted to light a fire in her and it worked. We went from vanilla missionary to completion for both us with out oral sex to her giving me an incredible BJ to completion without argument. something about that though of someone else triggered a “thats mine” response. Maybe she is trying to trigger a response from you ?
i mean as a guy about your age I would feel the exact same way. if the sexual attraction is gone it can feel impossible to get back, but I wont say its truly impossible because if you were ever together again while super horny I’m sure it wouldnt stop you. but as you say this is not serious so i wouldn’t overthink it and just move on. again, cuz i know it would completely change everything for me, just like you.
I think girls often seriously underestimate how repulsed we can be by details of past encounters. we all understand you’re not a virgin and intellectually i have no issue with your past sex life, but if we’re together i do not want to hear a detail about it. my gf once literally said to me “i used to be a bit of a whore” and that she’s had “threesomes, foursomes…”. this is when we were already together. i was dumbfounded. this is unprompted mind you; i was not asking about it. i still hate thinking about it but it clarified for me that one, she is young and naive (she was 23 at the time and I’m her first long term bf) and two, she approaches talking to me like one of her girlfriends (after the point we are already together for awhile and totally comfortable with each other). which obviously makes sense for the most part, but not with this topic. for what its worth she also thought her making out with other girls would not be a big deal at all in our monogamous relationship, and did not at all mind hearing about my past sexual encounters. that’s just something to flesh out her naivete/perspective.
I mean personally i think that would be hot as fuck but I understand your position on it.
Bro just talk to her about it. What you do should be based solely on how your discussion with her goes. She thought you find it hot instead it turned you off. Shit happens and I may be talking like it doesn’t matter but I would also be turned off. Not my dick, not my cum, not my bitch.
A woman I dated once, in the early stages told me she liked to have ravenous sex on her dining room table. Fine, I’m all for it.
However, she also explained in more detail what her coke snorting abusive ex did to her on that table and that it would get her going big time.
Yeah, that shit is now in my head, and I will never have sex with you on that table now. Even worse, every time I saw that table, there will be a nagging thought going through my head.
Long story short, I’m fine with knowing exes existed. I really do not want to know details about them being intimate. Ever. It is an enormous turn off up till the point I will enterily loose interest in someone.
It was a mistake on her part, your emotions are perfectly valid. It is probably best to wait and let your emotions cool off, if you think it can evolve to something serious with that person, it is not worth finishing your relationship over this imo. so my advice is : wait and chill.
Really weird – also, if this situation never happened and you were to get together, that meant she had photos of her having sex with her ex’s on her phone? That’s … kinda odd