Hey guys, so [I made a post about my situation on this sub a few days ago.](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskUK/comments/tsyajb/should_i_tell_my_employer_i_got_jumped/) But I will provide a TLDR if you don’t want to read it.
# TLDR
I’m a black male in early 20s living in London. Started a career in engineering 2 years ago, currently working at my first tech company. Last week on Wednesday evening, I was attacked near my home by gang members. One person asked me a gang related question, I got attacked from behind by another person with a mask who I didn’t notice was there and had to go to A&E.
# What happened since then?
I have taken time off work since then and told my manager that I was attacked. I asked to speak with them privately so they only told my team that I wasn’t feeling well and was off work.
I will be returning to work this Thursday, and sent a message to my team channel today saying I got injured and took time to recover. Though I didn’t provide any details about getting attacked. People from my team will definitely ask about how I got injured out of concern, they’re good people and very sympathetic. But I’m wondering how transparent I should be about this.
I will of course avoid talking about the fact I got attacked by gang members, as that is a very negative thing and could hurt my professional image eventhough I am a victim. But I don’t know if I should be open about the fact I was attacked by strangers, or to avoid that all together and say it’s a long story.
8 comments
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It’s nobody else’s business unless you want it to be.
It’s entirely up to you, be clear with your manager how much you are happy to share and they should back you up if anyone gets too pushy for details.
“I got mugged, I’m fine but I don’t really wanna talk about it”
You don’t have to say anything to anyone if you don’t want to.
Sorry this happened to you OP, that’s fucking awful.
Personally, I would want to let people know and then move on, but I think anyone would understand if you didn’t want to tell them.
If you want to make something up instead (I fell off my bike or whatever) then I would tell your manager what the lie is so they don’t accidentally tell someone you were attacked.
Hope you’re doing okay
I’m a bit torn on this. At first, I didn’t even tell my manager and then, when the police started coming into work to meet me, and I needed time off for an identity parade, I didn’t really have an option but to open up about it. I went with complete transparency, and didn’t regret it.
I do very much take your point that this could harm your image, even though that would be completely unfair. I’d perhaps be open about the attack (mainly so people don’t speculate), but there’s no need to mention anything which make things worse for you.
I’m sorry this happened, by the way. I know what it’s like. One thing I’d say is that if you don’t feel yourself over the next six months, or notice you are getting angry, or wanting to find ways to defend yourself, think about seeing a counsellor. In my case, it really crept up on me without me realising, and I really should have spoken to someone. It’s difficult to explain to someone who hasn’t been through it, and I hope it doesn’t affect you this way.
Be as transparent as you feel comfortable being; these people are not entitled to full disclosure. Once you’ve told them as much as you want them to know, say you don’t want to talk any more about it. If they’re as nice as you say they are they’ll respect your wishes.
You could say you were mugged, and leave it at that if you want. It’s London, it’s not like it’s ridiculous that a 20 something guy would get mugged. You could also let your manager know that that’s what your saying for privacy reasons and you want to keep what happened to yourself.
If the police are involved etc, then you were mugged. That’s criminal. If there’s gang involvement then they’ll keep your name very quiet anyway.