I’ve made peace with the fact I will never get married or have a family, but it has become nigh on impossible to make new friends, and the few I do have have way too many life responsibilities to spend more than once or twice a year with me.
So single guys in a similar situation. What has made your life worth living?
35 comments
The gym
I do things that I like to do. I play and run table top RPGs. I make music. I listen to podcasts. I play with my cat. I make food. My life isn’t focused of finding someone to spend it with. I’ve just forced things into my life that I like. I make it work cause I certainly don’t like the alternative.
There is nothing that has made my life worth living.. but I’m still living it for obvious reason, one can’t just opt out without being a prick.. I just do my job, have some conversations with my two best buds, when I can.. Drink a fuck load of beer and smoke weed.. Play video games and fiddle with technology.. watch movies. I also have a freeloading bastard living with me that demands ton of my attention and never gives me any sex.. it’s almost like being married but this one has a reasonable claim to none of that shenanigans, it’s a cat. He is one of my lives passions, to keep that bastard well fed, watered, in good shape, content and semi happy.
A well-appointed kitchen, solid fast internet, and plenty of free time to cook and bake and play video games.
This is completely anecdotal but:
join a martial arts gym, the camaraderie there is amazing
Work, hobbies, my car and ability to travel wherever.
Marriage and family is too much stress IMO, and I don’t see any benefits from it.
Maybe, if the right woman comes, I’ll consider it. But I don’t care much for marriage/family as a concept. Life is too short for that shit.
Jerkin it
I do whatever I feel like doing.
I don’t have any responsibility outside of my two huskies and paying bills.
I read if I want to. Study. Motorcycle ride. Meet with friends. Housework.
Whatever tickles my fancy at the time.
That freedom makes me happy.
You don’t find it. You are it. It isn’t something you chase, you have to choose to be it. Content also means not progressing or advancing, so if you choose contentment you stop.
Maintain strong relationships with family and friends, and have hobbies that keep you active and engaged.
Knowing it can end at any minute, and not having to worry about any fallout from it because no one is dependent on me.
I could disappear at this moment and the worst thing might be some unsigned lab work, and that brings me a sense of contentment
Trolling reddit
Why does everybody think getting married is a guarantee for happiness? It can also be your personal hell. Just take a peek at r/deadbedroom.
I have a lot of hobbies for which I am very passionate and which fill up a lot of the hours of my day. I also like my job and have an active (sometimes too active) social life. And while I’m not married, nor am I interested in getting married any time soon, I have been dating a lot more in the past couple years. Something about being 35 and having most of my ducks in a row seems to be attractive to women in a way I never was when I was younger.
i go and try random shit and keep at it if i like
Never stop learning. Challenge yourself. Work on your car, remodel your bathroom, learn coding, whatever interests you or presents itself as a need in your life, go after it. Some new friends may come along because of it too.
Hobbies and social activities that are reliant on a location people go to (bars, clubs, parks, etc.) or reoccurring events (weekly meetups, classes, etc.). That way we’re less reliant on individual people.
you make it sound like being single and not having kids is a terrible fate LMAO, in fact, of all of my high school friends/college friends who are married and have kids, only a very small handful are happy with their lives, whereas most of my friends who never got married and are childless, are very much enjoying their lives and their money and their good health and the lack of stress and responsabilities.
Bro, read books, watch movies, go for walks, go for hikings, climb a mountain, learn an instrument, learn a foreign language, learn how to draw and how to paint, get a dog. There’s so much stuff for a single guy to do, and lemme tell you, it’s one hell of a good time, this life.
I don’t.
Ever heard of hobbies?
First, don’t give up on the married and family. It’s great you made peace with it. But just keep an open mind. That one person out might be out there.
Second, it’s not that hard to make new friends. It’s more natural/easier when you do it in hobbies. Most of recent friends are met via hobbies. Also try to pick up a social hobby, dancing/sports. Gaming is often harder to make friends.
Third, try to reach out to old friends as well. Everyone has lots of many life responsibilities. But everyone can make time to hang out.
To answer your question, contentment is more from the inside. Even if you are married with wife and kids and have tons of friends, it doesn’t mean you will have inner peace and contentment. I would suggest a journey inside to find yourself. There are a few books I can recommend on this topic.
* Think Like A Monk – Jay Shetty
* Conscious Living – Hendricks
* Letting Go – David R Hawkins
Cheers!
I’m single now but doesn’t mean I will be forever. Been on a few dates recently that went well, see how it goes.
In my time though I’ve learned to love myself and enjoy spending time with me. I learned to bake and cook, good food feels good. Big 70 inch TV with surround sound for games and TV. Home gym and exercise feels good, you look good and it gets you out and active. Sometimes I’ll exercise at home and when I can I hop on my single speed bike and cruise.
For me it was about realizing that while I had hoped to be married, kids and all that by now just. Excuse it hasn’t happened doesn’t mean it won’t and if it doesn’t I’ll still be happy. Roll with the curves.
If you can only meet friends that you have once or twice a year then there is something very wrong.
Chemistry and routine.
I’m not 35 but I wish to share my wisdom. I strongly believe finding mindful new perspectives on your situation really goes to show it’s not really that bad as it might seem. But definitely having a passion/project is what makes me appreticate my alone time.
I tried lots of things. Church, Hobbies, Political activism, Fitness. Personally, I found that once I got fit enough I could take fitness to the Nth level. So long as you don’t get into steroids or dossing it is basically a endless feel good feedback loop. But getting fit enough to get there takes some work.
I liked Church and some of the Politic stuff i did for a while but things just got… well… too political.
Of all the “find myself” things I did, there was a 3 month trip to Alaska that I found the most fulfilling. It was primitive “camping” in an old 1850 cabin. Took hours to make breakfast, lunch and dinner. Just getting wood, feeding myself and keeping the cabin scavenger free was a full time job. Sounds boring AF, but it was easily the happiest I’ve ever been.
31 and i work pretty much all week, that’s what keeps me going
>I’ve made peace with the fact I will never get married or have a family
I can only speak for my situation, but I think it’s only up from here for me, as someone who’s 36 next month. The major things I need to work on is getting in shape, and fixing my wardrobe. The dating market for us only grows to be more broad with time, and with more resources to do more things, like traveling or buying a house. You know, things that women wish the man of their dreams can do.
It should definitely not be impossible to make new friends if you are getting enjoyment out of what you do and let that give you positive energy to put during social interactions. I live downtown in a reasonably sized city though so that may be a difference maker.
* Therapy to deal with negative stuff that may be coming from any combination of internal thoughts, family, work, or “friends”
* Being financially strong lets me travel and engage in many hobbies with little restriction other than time.
* I spend time with friends
* Even if you give up on marriage and having a family, that doesn’t mean you should stop trying to potentially trying to find a partner for long or short term. Engage and disengage freely — learn to date in a way where you stay healthy.
* As a follow up to above, as a man, you’re lucky in that you can more easily start a family whenever so there’s no need to give up on it. Maybe north of 45 years old is when it starts to look different. You’ll look like grandpa rather than papa, and your energy and health may start to fade while kids are still quite young
As a general recommendation, if you’re content to remaining a single guy, do not buy/rent a space too large even if you can afford it. It’s not a great look to have a lot of space full of nothing, but you have to put in work just to maintain it. Spend money on not having to spend time maintaining your space and having it in a location that gives you easy/quick access to what you do most frequently and reclaim your time. I purchased 2 bed room sizable condo in a downtown area and have lived and felt a lot better since. My perspective on money has changed a bit — I’m no longer saving for some big house, and future kids going to college. I’m not burning it up, but I’m not afraid to splurge a little on a vacay or hobbies now over a possible future I tried to acquire for a decade that never came.
I found the buddha. He gives me comfort and solace. Living a humble life, full of meditation, discipline, striving, and compassion is pretty awesome.
A garage/ workspace, a supply of wood, and a radio to tinker, build and sing badly. That plus not giving two hoots what other people think 🙂
You sound like a gentleman. I’d be happy to be your friend.
VR and big anime tities.
Motorcycle, hobbies, fishing, and the knowledge that I can do whatever I want without checking in or trying to juggle a woman’s insecurities and problems anymore.
I honestly enjoy being single, women bring too much disruption to my life and I got to a point in my life where I decided my peace was worth more then their companionship. I sometimes think twice about this BUT then I remember all the heartache and wasted time before and it reminds me I’m happier now.
When I jump into my race car bed and think of all the dope shit I can do when I wake up. Makes life worth living, my dude.