I’ve had a best friend for almost four years now. There definitely have been fun times, he’s not a bad dude but I feel like he has become increasingly clingy these past few months. I’m not good at saying no and I feel bad whenever I have to decline his invite to hang out with him. Also, he recently broke up with his girlfriend and now I feel like he’s interested in starting something with me because his hugs have started to feel uncomfortable and he’s always finding ways to innocently make contact. I hate it. I’ve dropped several hints that I’m not interested in him romantically but he doesn’t seem to get it. Also, we don’t really talk about much whenever he texts, it’s just random emojis and memes. That connection that I felt with him in the beginning is gone but I don’t know how to establish clear boundaries without hurting his feelings. He’s a very sensitive person and I generally tend to avoid confrontations. I feel like I’ve outgrown our friendship and he’s made me uncomfortable with him viewing me as a possible romantic partner.
4 comments
I have trouble picking up on hints and would rather simply be told that they’re not interested in dating or any sort of physical relationship. it certainly hurts but it’s not as bad as continuing to try to get someone’s attention when they’re just not interested.
If saying no or establishing reasonable boundaries hurts someone thats their responsibility, not yours
Don’t avoid hurting people, accept that taking care of yourself may hurt people
I think you should continue dropping hints about liking someone else or not wanting to date or how you view the friend as a sibling and not in a romantic way. If the person still continues to ask you out or something then you should try to delicately say that they are a great friend but you are not looking for a relationship at the moment or that you like him but not in that way. If this still doesn’t work then you might wanna distance yourself from the person. (This happened to a friend of mine and her guy friend asked her out 3 times and did not respect her boundaries despite her telling him delicately on multiple occasions that she was not ready to get in a relationship with anyone). Also as for asking for some space maybe try saying that you need some time to yourself and that it has nothing to do with them personally but you just need space to work out personal things or something. Hope this helps. Good luck!
Sounds like you know what to do – get better at saying no.