If you had to ask someone out first, what would you do?

47 comments

1. I’m a pretty direct person who doesn’t like leaving room for misinterpretations, so I’m just straightforward about my romantic interest. That’s how I let my then-crush/now-boyfriend know I was into him; I simply told him I loved him during one of our usual hangouts, it was mutual and we got together.

2. I asked my husband out first. I went up to him and asked “would you like to get dinner later this week.” Then we got dinner later that week. Now we are married. It’s pretty straight forward.

3. I’m very direct, I don’t play games. When I like someone I will just ask them out for a drink.

4. I just asked if he wanted to see a movie and/or grab dinner. Now we’re married. I’m pretty direct when I’m sure I want something and don’t just wait for it to come to me.

5. I’d ask them to do an activity with me that I think we would both enjoy and would give us an opportunity to connect or get to know eachother, like a meal, a picnic, the zoo or something like that.

6. I just asked. Regarding my fiance it wasn’t so much asked him out as invited him into my bed and a hookup led to our relationship but in the past I’ve been just as direct.

7. What I always do, ask them out on a date very specifically so they know it’s not just platonic hanging out.

8. I have in the past. I haven’t had to in years due to being in a relationship, but in previous situations, I’ve just been straight forward. “Hey, do you want to do -insert activity- on -insert day-? It could be a date.”

9. “Hey, you wanna go get a coffee or something?”

10. Ask them. I invited my now-husband out first. I don’t think guys should always have to do the asking.

11. I would say, “Hey, wanna go on a date with me?”

    I’m in my mid-30s and don’t want my time or theirs to be wasted by silly mind games. Let’s either do this thing or go our separate ways.

12. I’ve asked people out first lots of times.

    It’s basically a version of, “I’d really like to get to know you better. Would you like going out for xyz?”

13. Just… ask them out.

14. “Would u like to go out to dinner?”

15. I’ve asked out dozens of people. Like “So I’ve enjoyed our flirting. Want to grab some dinner together this weekend?”

16. “So when are you asking me out on a date?” It’s never failed.

17. Just ask. Maybe they are shy

18. I haven’t “had” to, I did it because I wanted to. My usual go-to was “hey wanna grab a drink?”

19. I guess I technically asked my bf out first, we were intending to watch a horror movie marathon with friends at his apartment, but it dwindled to just us and before that I asked him to get coffee and walk around the waterfront areas.

    Ended up walking for 5 hours and just talking, then we ended up going to finally watch horror movies and the rest is history.

    In conclusion, coffee is the best date opener. Especially if you know a cute hidden coffee shop gem!

20. I already do that fairly often. Why wait for someone else to do it when I’m pretty sure I want to date them?

21. -I wrote my name and number on a piece of paper and gave it to the cutie selling me my laptop and said “thanks so much for your help” on my way out. He called a few days later. We hung out twice. He took me to hang out with his bros and one of them literally took his whole dick out of his pants and slapped another guy in the face with it. That was enough for me.

    A few years later, I had business cards made year said “[TheGoblina] thinks you’re cute” and my phone number. I gave one out. I am married to him.

22. 1. Get to know them well enough to know I’d like to go out with them.
    2. Get to know them well enough to think it’s very likely they’d want to go out with me.
    3. Ask them out on a date.

23. I asked my fiancé out first. I was 18 and he was 21 at the time so he felt weird about making the first move, so I just asked him if he wanted to meet up for ice cream. Now we’re getting married.

24. I’m a bit of an artistic type, so I’d likely paint them a picture or make them a playlist.

25. My long term relationship before my current marriage, 8 did ask him out. It was someone I worked with, I just asked them if they wanted to hang out some time. We did.

26. I just ask if they’d like to get a drink sometime, and they usually do.

27. I asked my current boyfriend out. I said wow i love your tattoos, we probably like similar things, (something along those lines). want to hang out sometime? Lol but it worked so.

28. Just ask them?

29. I’d like to say I’d be straightforward but then I remember I had an extremely convoluted and dumbass plan to try and seduce my now boyfriend before we dated that involved learning absolutely everything I could about Pokémon. And this was just my plan to try and approach being FWB. And then he just asked me out like a normal person and we’ve been dating almost 2 years

30. Be super awkward, stumble over my words, laugh and then stay awake at night thinking about how stupid I was 😂😂

31. “Hey, [compliment], would you like to hang out later?”

32. 1. Love confession. “I like you” or “I’m in love with you”.

    2. (If the affection is reciprocated) Ask to go out somewhere.

33. Just talk with them and ask if they want to go out with me once the conversation seems like it’s gotten to that point. I would always read the situation of course, if the door doesn’t seem open there is probably a good reason. It can be accepted or rejected, it’s all good.

    Despite the popular notion that this never actually happens, I and every woman I know have asked our crushes out with regularity.

34. Never done it, probably should give it a go as nobody asking me

35. My fiance and I met online at first. I thought he was really cute and liked his personality so I slid into his DM’s even though that was a big no no where we met. We had talked in the very large group previously and I knew that it was very possible that our paths would never cross again. So I sent him a message and said something along the lines of “I really enjoyed talking with you earlier and I’d love to talk again soon.” He took the bait and I later asked to FaceTime. We really hit it off, met in person, and we’re getting married next year.

    Ladies, if you’re interested, go for it! Men love when women take the initiative!

36. Just ask them to grab coffee or something. I ask people out first frequently. It’s not a big deal and is lot easier than waiting on them to make a move.

37. I’ve asked pretty much everyone I’ve ever dated out. This would have been through text or aim (AOL). Turns out they were all disgusting scrubs. So my days of asking guys out are over. Not. Worth. It.

38. Either ask them out or chicken out, depending on how I’m feeling in life at that time. I asked my current boyfriend out

39. I would ask my partner when he is free and then, focusing on his free time, I would suggest going on a date.

40. I prefer to ask first. Otherwise I might miss the opportunity. I asked my boyfriend if he wanted to hang out with me. Simple as “Hey what does your schedule look like this week, we should hang out sometime” and bam, been together for 9 months

41. I’m awful at reading/giving off flirting or social cues, so I’m pretty likely to ask as opposed to waiting for the guy to. When I have, I just found a moment to talk to them alone and casually asked. If they say no, I stick with casual and move on.

42. I did before. I always did. For my current bf I just said “be my bf” and we been together for 8 months still going strong

43. I’m just here for the free advice👀👀👀, cause idk.

44. I once wrote someo a letter! And then they wrote me back too. Sadly they were already in a relationship so things didn’t pan out for me. But I was touched by his response and how sweetly he handled the whole thing.

    10/10 would do it again.

45. I am one of those sickos that Reddit seems to disdain in that I really like flirting, implicit rather than explicit (up until a point — obviously you need explicit communication for more sexual/romantic territory) understanding of where we stand, etc. So I really am not one to just be like “I like you, want to go on a date?”

    Instead, what I might try and do while getting to know someone (which has successfully worked in the past, including my current 5-years-going-strong relationship) is listen for activities or places we both like and create a date out of it. This is not a surefire thing, but usually if I’m into someone, I’m looking for things we have in common or ways we could spend time together.

    **Example #1:**

    Guy: I’m literally always craving Jamaican food

    Me: Oh, have you been to Suchandsuch restaurant?!

    Guy: No

    Me: Oh man, it’s soooo good. Want to come with me next time I go?

    **Example #2:**

    [I have brought a baked good to a party]

    Guy: bzoooop, how do you make these, they’re amazing?

    Me: I started from this random recipe I found online but at this point I’ve developed them into my own recipe.

    Guy: Wow that’s impressive, I wanna bake but I’m terrible in the kitchen.

    Me: Well I have to make more for an event next week, wanna come over and I can show you how?

46. I asked him out to the movies and he said maybe but never actually gave me an answer until like a month later we were on the phone and joking around and I saw my chance to try to make him think it was “his” idea- so I responded to a dirty joke with “at least take me out on a date first” which was very basic, I know, and he chose to ask me out then. I didn’t even think it would work, and he still thinks he asked on his own. Now we’ve been together for 2 years and 3 months.

47. … Ask them out