I’m a 33 (m). I date a lot but the last serious relationship I had I ended 4 years ago. I wasn’t a happy person at that time and there were a lot of things I needed to work on. We weren’t a good match either and I ignored that for a long time which culminated in a break up. I spent 4 years working on myself and my career, dating in between that. I moved cities in 2020 which was tough but I’ve built a solid life here. This time last year I felt like the only thing missing was a partner. I wasn’t in a rush but at the same time I felt ready to settle down. I started dating a 33 (f) late fall. We hit it off from the start, made plans at the end of the first date to see each other the next weekend. She even invited me to drinks in between that. She was in the middle of moving back to complete her PhD remotely. After a month she mentioned meeting her parents and invited me to hang out with a bunch of her cousins our age right before Christmas. I met her parents the following week. She said I did great. New Years Day she asked if I wanted to have kids one day and I said yes. She asked if that was in the next couple of years (fair) and I said yes. I had some concerns we were moving too fast and I had entered into it with the mindset I didn’t want to rush anything. However I liked her and I’ve realized enough that compatibility is hard to come by. She made a remark a couple weeks into the year that she couldn’t believe no one had snagged me up and that she’d been looking for red flags but couldn’t find any. We made things official early in the year but after that I felt things changing. I wondered if I had rushed it with her and how well I really knew her. She started saying things like she was too introverted for me or wasn’t interested in some of the things I enjoyed doing. She was much more of a homebody than me which is fine. The last week we were together I got the feeling maybe this wasn’t going to last. I had taken her to dinner the week before when I was going out of town and conversation felt forced. The last date we went on she brought up something that led to tough conversations. I said some things I didn’t mean and it felt resolved. This is TMI but we had been having sex most of the time we knew one another. She got an IUD the last week we were together and was insistent we didn’t need to use a condom anymore because she’d gotten it while on her period. I understood that but said I’d feel comfortable using condoms just one more week. After sex she went off about how maybe we were just too different, things felt off, and that I acted like it’d be a disaster if we had a kid. I talked through all of this with. I felt like we were in a good place after our talk. The next day we talked. She was worried about us and I said I felt like we had only known each other for a short while. We needed to quit putting pressure on everything and continue to get to know one another. She said it just wasn’t right and ended it. She told me she’d had doubts for a month. We met up for coffee one more time and she said it wasn’t anything I did, best first date she ever had, I was great, she just didn’t think we’d be happy long term. Early on she told me she had a tendency to run. It all really threw me for a loop. I’ve never reached back out or seen her. I haven’t heard anything from her. She was on hinge two weeks after the breakup and I was sick. I’ve stayed productive at work, I do things I enjoy, I’m active. I had a great summer. I’ve dated a lot. Nothing serious. There’s a woman I see every now and then but no talks of exclusivity. I feel crazy for letting myself let all this still get to me and even crazier that I was ready to dive in and settle down after a few months. Anyone been here before?
TL;DR: Anyone ever seen this with a short term breakup?