Shy guys here, how did you get out of your “shell?”

12 comments

1. I hit the gym, Built up on my confidence.

2. you may never. and if not, that’s ok. there are people out there for everyone.

   trust me, women are just as anxious and shy as you are. they appreciate your shyness. it’s relatable.

   it just gets tough when trying to get shy people together. sometimes it can be sort of a standoff, like who’s going to take the first step?

   give it time. patience. trust yourself.

   have you seen a therapist? they can help you learn coping strategies and how to process your emotions in healthy ways–including how to deal with shyness, and how to work with it if you wish.

3. Personally, I think having online friends helped a lot and conversing all the time did me a favor, maybe you can start it slow and gradually get better at being an extrovert

4. My friends (teammates) who were all older and much bigger/stronger made me. They would literally pick me up and force me to do things I was afraid of. If I wouldn’t talk to a girl they’d pick me up and bring me to her and force the conversation. It was the single most effective method I’ve seen, I would shake and sometimes even cry (13-14 years old) when I was truly afraid but they would always be there to ensure I’m safe and supported. Nothing got me out of my shell better than that – I had no other option, I had to face my fears. Looking back I have so much appreciation for those guys. My life wouldn’t be the same without them.

5. Gaining confidence in my clothing and looks.

6. Buy some nice pants and dress shoes. Act aloof.

7. In general college helped as being a bio.major, it got me always having to do presentations in front of people. As a lot of it was around topics I enjoyed/was.paasionate about, it really made it easier going forward in general with talking in front of/ around others.

8. By drinking. At first I would only get out of my shell when I was tipsy but now when I’m feeling anxious around people I just put myself in that mindset even when I’m not drinking and it helps a lot

9. I forced myself to sign up for a speech class during my first year at college. By the end of the 12 week term I was still sweating bullets during my speeches but at least I was able to get through them without too much suffering. After that I kept looking for opportunities to speak in front of groups. It eventually got easier. I’m not a natural but with just a little bit of prep I now feel confident when I am the focus of people’s attention.

10. Start looking outward instead of inward. Develop your own standards and start judging women by it. You’d be surprised when you realize that there are a lot of women out there with shitty personalities that you probably wouldn’t want to date anyway. Doing this will give you a sense of self worth, and you’ll develop confidence as a sort of byproduct.

11. I’m still shy tbh but it was when my dad died. I just kind of said “fuck it” and did things even if it meant people liking or not liking me.

12. Become rich, handsome, and charming. If you can only do one of these things, be rich.