TL;DR My partner has a crush on his best friend but he’s stuck with me instead

My partner (36M) and I (35F) have known each other for four years, but we started being a couple about six months ago. Everything was alright until he started pushing me to be his best friend (24F) “new bestie” because he loved the idea of us being a trio. It didn’t work.
He talks and talks about her for hours, he openly admitted he finds her very attractive and he would sleep with her if he had the chance, even his ringtone is her voice.
Since she left the city to visit her family he hasn’t left home, in fact he barely left our bedroom.
For her birthday he took her to a beach town for a couple of days, a comedy show and he even sent her a present all the way to her country while she was there.
For mine I got a “happy birthday” card with messages from people I barely knew.
He claims she is the reason we are a couple (he was hesitant for a while as he was still scarred from a former relationship) as she “convinced him to accept someone else’s love”.
But I can’t help thinking that he “accepted” to stick with me as he can’t have her as a partner.
Is it just me?

8 comments

  2. Why are you in a relationship with this guy. He’s clearly into this other woman and quite frankly the age gap is gross. Get out and move on.

  3. Why does it matter? He’s having an emotional affair with this woman and you’re tolerating it.

  4. Talk to him and tell him all of this and if he can’t drop her and shown you that you are his first choice then move in.

  5. Why are you staying with a guy who so clearly wants someone else? Treat yourself better than that

  7. This is way too much – your only impulse should be to get out of a dysfunctional relationship with someone who openly talks about their desire for someone else!

  8. Just leave him?

    Like, yes. He doesn’t seem to care about you or value you. Leave him. It’ll bring more happiness than trying to force a relationship to work.

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