I (23M) met a girl (23) over insta a few months ago. Our conversations started off really well and decided to hang out, where we went to a coffee shop, and that went well too. We instantly connected, had good conversations, laughed, it was great. The next day i asked her out to dinner, to which she said yes, and we both went out to dinner 10 days later and took a walk and sat by the lake. Everything was going very well, again we had good laughs, we related on a bunch of stuff and honestly it felt like a good connection and a good fit. I know meeting someone twice is fairly soon to judge, but this did feel unique.
I should mention that during this period she was was really nice, came across as a caring person, and was enthusiastic about meeting and talking to me. She had pretty good and responsible communication skills too.
She even initiated a conversation the next day after we met for the last time, and things were fine, until I told her that I really like spending time with her and that it was a lovely evening. I’m not sure if this was the switch, but she went sorta cold after that and I asked her if she’d like to go out again next week, she said she is busy next week and that we could try for the weekend after. I heard nothing from her for a week, and so decided to text her a couple of days before the weekend to check up on her (she told me she was a bit overwhelmed when we met before). Her tone had changed a bit, and when I asked her if we were on for the weekend, she said some family stuff had come up so it won’t be possible and she asked for a raincheck. I told her my available dates and said I can’t after a particular date coz of exams, to which she replied a few days later that she won’t be able to make it, and she didn’t try to reschedule.
Since then I tried to initiate a conversation by sending her pics of my cat, which she took like a week to reply to, and then left my last message on seen.
She finally responded after leaving it on seen for 2 months.
Her text was this – “Hey I‘m sorry for never replying to this. I know this is the most overdue message in history but just wanted to say it was nice meeting you and sorry for not keeping in touch. Tbh, I don‘t feel like we really clicked but I should have told you that at the time. Really sorry for dragging this reply out for so long. But hope you had a great time in (home country) back in June and that your exams went well. Wish you all the best!”
To which I responded – ” Hey, it’s okay.
Shame to hear that coz I actually felt we had a good connection and thought things could go somewhere if we gave it more time, but I understand if you didn’t feel the same way.
Thanks, its been good, decided to stay here longer to spend more time with the fam, gonna be back next week. Hope things at your work are better now.
Wish you and your fam the best!😊”
I think its over now, and I’m glad I at least got the closure. Was my response okay?
I do have feelings for her but obv I won’t ask her out or text her again, but is it possible that things can start again?
TLDR : A girl who ghosted me responded finally, to which I replied, ending things on good terms I think. Was the response okay? And is there a chance she could try to get in touch again?
7 comments
She was pretty clear that she’s not interested. Your response was fine. Now lose her number and move on.
Yea it’s over, Just a part of dating. Personally, I’d send a shorter and simpler response.
Response was fine. Chapters closed. Move on
she told you she’s not interested in you already, what makes you believe that there’s an option for that to change?
Great response imo. You had 2 nice dates so take that as a plus! It is time to move on though, but you already know that.
She probably lost interest because you were too slow in your advances. There should be more flirting and demonstration of physical interest, more escalation. Clearly she was into you at the beginning, but she probably hoped you would be more confident.
Your response was perfect as long as you leave it as it is. She made herself clear. Yes, it’s a shame that you guys aren’t on the same page or whatever but if from this point onwards you start insisting….you’re at risk of stepping into creepy/stalky/can’t take no for answer behaviour territory.
I’m sorry it didn’t work out.