So we were making out Friday night and we weren’t drinking or anything, but I remember it was probably around 3-4am already and we were super tired and horny and I can’t even remember a part of it, but I do remember that there was a part when she was on top of me (she likes to be dom) and then I caressed her ass inside her shorts and I do recall her saying no a couple of times, like keep my hands outside of the shorts. I remember pushing for that which I am really sorry about. But while she was saying no, she still actively kissed me and made out with me and stuff and say things like she’s having trouble holding back which gave me mixed signals and my dumb brain totally ignored her words vs actions. So a point came when she gave up and signaled to go further and I thought it was ok.
I never realized something was up cause the next day she suggested me to stay another night and that she felt horny a lot, and we did more that 2nd night.
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Fast forward, she talked to me on Wednesday and told me about it and asked why I would hurt her. I know consent is consent. I didn’t know how to react when she said that cause it’s the first time I’ve done it. At the same time she still wants to move forward dating me, but I feel iffy about it now. I feel so much shame but also it felt weird that she still wants to continue dating me. She said I messed up so bad and wish that it didn’t happen. But she said she feels comfortable and safe with me still, but when she remembers friday night she just feels a bit hurt and confused as to why I never understood what No meant. I just kept apologizing without reasoning out. That Wednesday night after telling me, she stayed over and initiated to make out with me for hours. I was even hesitant to hold her at that point but she gave me a bunch of go signals.
It felt nice to hang out with her, but thursday night, finally alone, I started to think about everything and it felt like I am overblaming myself for some reason. and I’ve been feeling so much shame since and I asked for time away from her so I can think things through. I don’t know why I feel this way. I did my mistakes and maybe the shame is making me want to just end the relationship with her. I feel like the trust between us suddenly vanished. It’s super early into the relationship…
6 comments
Jesus Christ this girl is a sea of red flags. Get TF away from this girl, as far away as you possibly can. She is extremely dangerous and may accuse you of rape.
You didn’t do anything wrong. Actions DO matter, sex isn’t about signing a legal document before each act. She’s using shame as a weapon to bully and abuse you. RUN!
She’s still giving a lot of mixed signals and I have a very bad feeling about this.
Just from now on stop when she says it the first time. Even if she herself is pushing for it. Let her be the one to initiate again or start a dialog about how she’s feeling.
The reality is, yes, she is giving some mixed signals. She may just be a people pleaser and doesn’t want to make you feel bad so she went with it. So just stop when she says it the first time. Let her explain herself and then decide.
Not good bro.
Tbh man you didn’t do much wrong,sometimes you go for something when your in the mutual act and if they do say no you should stop any more advances,but she does sound like a weirdddddd girl,I’d break it off as soon as possible,if you break up with her later down the line or something she will use this to defame you and make herself a victim, especially if she’s gonna say you violated her in a way but that she still feels safe with you, seen bad things like this go down with plenty of close friends and family members.either that or she’s using it as something she can hold over your head
… dude you can say yes to making out and no to going further
it sounds like she was down to make out but didn’t want you touching her under her shorts, she’s clarifying with you because she likes you but wants to make sure that doesn’t happen again
its just that straight forward she may have had bad experiences in the past and is being extra careful
if you want to be accountable just say sorry and try harder, you could run away if you want but its actually a good dating lesson to at least give a shot at owning a mistake / bad moment and moving past it together, that can bring two ppl closer together