We’ve been together since 2012.
The other day my husband was clearing out his emails and there was an unread notification on the app that he couldn’t clear or figure out what email was unread so he gave the phone to me to see if I could find the unread email because the number was bothering him. I started going through email folders, spam, important etc and there were some unread in there so I was opening them and noticed some from Locanto about hot girls or something. I assumed it was spam but one of them had his name. I then searched ‘Locanto’ on his phone and he had the app. After that I gave him his phone back (still couldn’t fix the unread email issue) and started googling and looking into Locanto and pretty quickly realised it was a hook up app. The emails I saw were from 2016 and 2020 so not recent.
This morning I decided to go through his phone without his knowledge, he has a deactivated dating profile on Locanto under a different name with a photo of himself with a filter on it. There were no messages in Locanto, snapchat, Instagram, messages or email. I found no other suspicious apps. I re-checked the Locanto email notifications and it looked like he posted an ad in 2016 and 2020 that a female replied to or he replied to someone else’s ad. He also replied to an ad that a girl posted and her current ads show that she gives public blow jobs in our area. I couldn’t see their interactions though, there was only so much I could see in the email notifications.
He has always liked porn and follows girls on social media who post sexual content, I’ve never been too concerned about that and when I searched his phone it’s pretty clear that he doesn’t private message or comment on these girls profiles. We have always had an open phone policy, not that we’ve searched each other’s phones (except for this morning) but we know each other’s passwords and passcodes and will often reply to messages for each other and go through each other’s photos if one of us has taken cute photos of our kids.
I’m going to confront him today, just waiting for a child free moment. I’m scared of what I might find out. How should I approach this?
4 comments
Ask him straight up. If he gave you his phone and you know all of his passwords, it’s probably a porn thing but I would have him tell you.
Sounds like he was interested in receiving oral sex is that something he can’t ask of you?
Check also if he has that calculator app where it hides things
Going through someone’s things is never going to end well justified or not
Before the downvotes come cascading in you shouldn’t go snooping through your spouses things, ever. If you find yourself needing to then maybe you shouldn’t be married to that person.