Me and my girlfriend have been together for almost a over a year from now on. We met in a psych ward where I was because of an anxiety disorder and Depression and she was because of PTSD and BPD. We got together after the both of us left the clinic, there never was any advance while we were in stationary therapy. Before and in the beginning of our relationship we had sex most of the times when we met, although she deals with sexual trauma from when she was 18. We went through ups and downs in our relationship, she went to more clinics and I truly got the feeling that she got better, but for about 4 months now our sex life has been unfulffiling for me. We rarely have sex or anything similar, maybe once a month. When I want to initiate sex or another way of getting intimate, I get rejected about 90 percent of the time.I am mostly afraid of even asking for it or initiating it at this point because I feel very anxious when I get rejected for the 4th or 5th time in a row. My chest feels empty, I feel sick in my stomach and I get in a bad mood for the next hours or the next day. I truly love her, although we both struggle with mental health from time to time I am very happy in this relationship besides the sexual part of it. I talked about the issue and she told me that its difficult for her, but that its not because of me and that its not my fault I bought sex toys and even sexy outfits for her role playing fetish but it doesnt help. I normally have a very high sex drive and once a week feels like a must have or I am about to explode. We are in the process of moving together right now, but the issue still remains unsolved. I am in fear that this will drive me away from her over the next few months if it stays this way, I also started fantasizing about having sex with other women and I just feel bad afterwards. I would like to hear some advice on how to deal with this situation.
TL;DR: Girlfriend with sexual trauma had a problem with intimacy over the last few months, boyfriend feels anxious and sick because of the sexual rejection
3 comments
Walk us through your seduction techniques.
> Me and my girlfriend have been together for almost a over a year from now on. We met in a psych ward where I was because of an anxiety disorder and Depression and she was because of PTSD and BPD.
Neither one of you needs to be in a relationship at the moment.
> I am in fear that this will drive me away from her over the next few months if it stays this way, I also started fantasizing about having sex with other women and I just feel bad afterwards.
Read what you wrote. If the act of sex is the only thing that keeps your attachment to her then *you* also know this isn’t the right way to go about things. *You* have things to work on.
Think about her feelings too. Not just yours.
Unless you’re a wealthy sportsman, some twat on a guitar, or are called George Clooney or Brad Pitt, the majority of women are disgusted at the idea of sex.