It’s like a cruel joke, to have had such strong romantic attraction your whole life but a disgust for sex. I’ve tried both willing myself to stop having romantic feelings and to gain sexual attraction neither works. Romantic repression works moreso but I’m tired of doing that, I just turned 24 and I’m having a bit of a crisis about it.
I know the well intentioned advice is “just date an asexual” but the ratio of male to female asexuals online is so skewed towards females and I’m romantically attracted to males.
I keep convincing myself I could make compromises for the right person but I’ll never even get to that stage because no guy would want to waste their time on me. I’ve been pursued by guys many times and every time I end up having to turn them down but it hurts.
I feel like my best option is to accept it’s not going to happen but that reality pains me more than I can describe. I don’t even know how I’m going to spend the rest of my life alone when the world is set up for at least 2 person households.
I don’t know what answers I’m looking for. I know part of me still has that innocent belief that love will be enough for the right one but I know it’s not reality. It’s not even guaranteed the average person will meet someone compatible enough for them, and I’ve been dealt this hand that basically eradicates the chances I will find even close to that.
3 comments
I would read Robert Greene’s “The Art of Seduction”. Understanding the nature of Romance and seduction beyond sex will help you overcome some of it.
Not meaning to be rude or insulting.
You might consider seeking professional medical advice.
There is nothing wrong with you. I was struggling to understand why I could never be happy in a relationship (I have issues which are different to yours, but I feel for what you are going through)…then I flipped it and asked “I can’t be the only person in the world like this, can I?”…So I started googling and keeping a journal and accepting myself, and it turns out there is a gender description that fits me. And I bet there is one for you too. And I think that you could find someone that is perfect for you if you embrace who you are, and if you look in the right place.