I dated this guy from work for three months. Rejected him at first as I only saw him as a friend but he then started to love bomb me and I felt valued and loved. He doesnt offer anything, not a house, not a proper salary and i come from a rich family. Still I didnt care and gave him a chance. We went out 4 months and he started to disrespect me, staying with colleagues who would badmouth about me and remained silent because he calls them friends, leave me all alone while sitting with another girl at work. When I confronted him he said “you are oversensitive”. He does same things he did with me to her, inviting her at lunch , they smoke together and goes to her office. It breaks me. He asked photos of a guy I friend I have (Im really introvert) and I called him possesive and he gave me the silent treatment. He ignored me at work completely,talked to everyone despite me and I texted him what was wrong as he was hurting me and I have past issues of abandoment. He just replied that he got tired of pursuing me, felt rejected and I called him possesive so I had to say sorry to him. I did and said I loved him and explained my past relation trauma which makes me afraid but would love to be with him and all I got was “Im not sure, you should wait till I forgive you”. I dont know what to do more to get him back,he parades the new girl around work,doesnt care about me, is punishing me and Im crying my eyes out at work and am angry with him.
9 comments
Saying this as a guy, he sounds like a huge manipulator
Sounds horribly toxic. If it’s within your means, quit your job. You say you come from a rich family, tell them that you need to find a new job away from him due to hurt it’s causing and just hand your notice in. Work and an ex is a terrible combination, let alone one who is potentially abusive. You are better off far away from him as if this is the beginning, no good can come from this relationship
Find someone new too
Listen, forget that asshole, he’s not going to change, he doesn’t care, I get the abandonment thing, I have that issue, it’s shitty, it makes you stay in situations that arnt healthy, bend over backwards for people that could care less about you, and he’s abusing it
Talk to some friends, make some new ones, hell I’ll talk to you if it helps keep you out of that situation, but it’s not good for you to try and get him back, you need to walk away for your sake, he’ll pull a you’re hurting him card, you should feel greatful he’s even considering forgiving you card, sorry, that shit don’t fly, he’ll talk to other girls all the time, he don’t wanna commit, he just wants all the fun
You deserve better
I would say that you should just let him be. He isn’t your problem anymore. Stop making him your problem.
I read the first few lines. Dump him and find your rich guy or a guy who can give you what you want. It doesn’t look as if you can value this guy. Idk what he did but why be with someone as if you are doing them a favour. Relationships are not charity.
As time goes on, it will eventually benefit you.Go forward! Be string,Have faith and someone who respects and loves you will find you
Hey there sister,
Your perception is skewed now as this is a place of losing someone regardless of how good that person is for you.
With time, Future you will thank you for not pursuing this person.
This person displays toxic patterns, and no one deserves to stay in such environment. Its not healthy and is likely to increase.
Love bombing is a common narcissist pattern,
This separation may hurt, but this necessary pain is the pain of getting a dentist to remove a tooth decay,
The alternative is to stay with the tooth decay and be more exposed to further continuous pain that could result in infections and further damage
Sometimes we are too focused on the current pain that we forget it’s a better alternative than a bigger evil.