[M29] Why do some women cry after having sex? Am I hurting them?

7 comments

1. Orgasms can do that.I envy them a bit, it must be intense.

2. They probably have stuff going on that you aren’t aware of

3. You are not necessarily hurting them. I had a great orgasm once that made me cry, it was awesome. Don’t worry:)

4. The sex is so good that the hormones and emotions act up to the point of needing a release in the form of tears. It happens sometimes. 🙈

5. Well, the only time a girl cried after sex is cause I went limp and she thought it was cause she wasn’t attractive enough to keep it up… of course, I reassured her that I have ED and didn’t take a pill beforehand

6. There are a few sad and discomforting reasons. I’ve been with a few women who have had this happen. It usually starts before or during their orgasm. It’s difficult for the girls to explain their reason. It can be embarrassing, humiliating , frightening to talk about and re feeling the emotions.
   Two of my friendgirls opened their secrets to me. I won’t repeat the uncomfortable and unbelievable story the told but it has relevance to sexual childhood abuse from family members. Constant shaming & demoralizing .
   I can’t imagine all the stress, self worth & trust issues they have…

7. Could be a positive or a negative emotional outpouring. Ask. Don’t push too hard if the reason isn’t forthcoming at once—sometimes they’re not sure themselves. That said, here’s a bit more tactical info—(1) Sometimes it’s a bad memory or emotion or a trauma. That’s less common if she orgasmed, but still possible (typically won’t O with bad thought-baggage in tow); (2) Probably didn’t hurt her unless you were being aggressive—if you’re tender, loving, respectful (i.e., you cherish her)—should have no worries there or she’ll feel safe to tell you if it was physical pain; (3) Good book—The Body Keeps the Score—discusses how our bodies store stress and trauma… hips get a lot of that “traumatic storage”, so stretching, working, compressing hips can release a massive amounts of lactic acid, toxins, manipulate fasciae, generate endorphin release including norepinephrine, noradrenaline, dopamine, melatonin, etc… In short, it’s a rich cocktail that can produce strong emotion, and crying can be good in this case; (4) Could just be sweetness of the moment. *In Closing* My wife cries when we have sex. Not frequently, but not rare. Especially if we’ve just come out of a valley and are on a hilltop. Or if we’ve had a good season. Or after a child hits a milestone. Or an anniversary. You get the idea… life has a rhythm and sway, the seasons come and go, and sex is the reflecting pool into which we gaze with our beloved and adorn our memories with praise and thanks and connection or drink deeply our sorrows in comfort. The cries become better the longer you’re with your partner and—play your cards right—you might have a tear or two slip out yourself while you both lay naked in rapture and glory, chuckling about something your toddler said.

   **EDIT** Meant to include this thought—Yoga practitioners often experience bouts of crying or tear up after frog pose or pigeon-pose. I don’t do yoga beyond basics for stretching, but have seen this and had folks confirm. Also, have run an uphill marathon before and—afterward, during stretching (and during the final stages)—have felt huge waves of emotion. There’s a mind-body connection we can’t ignore. Hope all this was helpful. Can’t cover everything in a short comment, but best of luck to ya, son.