My partner of a decade has been cheating on me. She doesn’t know that I know yet, I’m out of town for family matters and evidence came to light regarding this. It’s undeniable evidence, so I’m pretty upset at the moment (I won’t be elaborating as she frequents Reddit as well).
I’m pretty torn and unsure how to proceed, we have two children together. She isn’t aware I know yet, I have suspected this for some time and even discussed it before, was ensured I was being paranoid. So much for that.
I’m debating just contacting a lawyer and going on with life like normal until I have custody discussions with them.
Any input would be appreciated, tia
Edit; not married, in the US
15 comments
If you can stand it, make nice, collect evidence, talk to a lawyer to get your facts straight.
I think you’re right. Talk to lawyer and prepare to file. Don’t confront until lawyer gives you the go ahead.
Talk to a lawyer, show him the evidence you’ve collected. Don’t do anything until the lawyer gives you the green light.
Lawyer up.
Yes, lawyer up. Document document document. Dates times and texts. Ideally get her to keep lying and document them in text form.
Talk to a lawyer . and if you have a joint account, move your share of money to another account. Look for accommodation options, if the house isn’t in your name . Start therapy
Your not married, so you don’t really need a lawyer. Unless your wanting a lawyer to fight for full custody or something? Which her being a cheater, doesn’t necessarily make her a bad mom. People make crappy mistakes. But family law won’t give you full custody because she cheated . I’d ask for 50/50.
Do not confront until you’ve contacted your attorney. Listen to what they say.
Stop having sex with her and get std tested.
Maybe worth paternity tests for your children.
Ask your attorney about that
Phew! You didn’t marry her!!! You dodged one hell of an expensive bullet my friend.
Lawyer up, get at least 50% custody of your kids and send her ass back to the streets.
Just do it …. without posting this post in case she reads this and thinks this post is you 🤔🤔
Lawyer first. Ignore all the other advice about documenting or catching her lying, until you hear it from your lawyer. We dont know the laws in your jurisdiction, so we dont know what the right steps are. The lawyer will.
Not married, not much you can do, besides hire an attorney and co parent. Frankly, confronting her will just be more and more lies. So get the attorney, file for joint custody. I would add that, when filing, you need to get paternity tests on both of your children. Make it known, that you are doing this, and if she passed off a child as yours, you will sue her for paternity fraud also. You leave someone who commits that as penniless. Also, get an app for co parenting. Look up grey rock and one eighty, and understand what these are and implement them to her when you return. Frankly I would not return until you file.
As always exercise, eat right, drink plenty of water. Get into ic if you need it, or read self help books. Take care of your physical and mental health, and ensure you take care of your children. Get into hobbies, build a support group of friends and family, do not be ashamed to tell them, the shame belongs on the one who committed the act. Build a 1 year and 5 year plans and execute them.
I would not recommend reconciling with her as you are not married. Co parent and enjoy your children as much as possible.
Act like you don’t know, go to a lawyer with an evidence and boom
Talk to and listen to your lawyer, focus on your kids, grey rock her and give her nothing emotionally.. She no longer matters.
As there are children involved, best to get legal advice and understand the implications before you confront her.