It feels like whenever i like someone’s apperance i don’t like their character or it’s viceversa. Sometimes i feel like someone that i can really love just doesn’t exist. I also get so easily bored of flirting. Whats wrong with me? I never had relationship. All my friends tell me i’m so beautiful and it’s surprising for them to see me single.
2 comments
Without knowing specifics it’s hard to say whether you’re too picky or the right amount picky. In general though, attractive men have no reason to be ‘good’ men, because dating sites/apps/social normal give them a constant buffet of women to choose from and gorge themselves on, so why would they ever care about you? And the unattractive men, well, they’re unattractive. That doesn’t mean ugly, it just means they have bad photo angles, or sound boring, or aren’t perfectly fit, or don’t exude confidence…the top 7% or so of men look *so* much better that everyone else is just such a downgrade that why would anyone bother?!
Similarly, women who are attractive know they can pick anyone they want, so they go after their exact preferences. But the overlap on the venn diagram between what an attractive woman wants and what an attractive man offers is generally pretty small. One is going for short term pleasure and the self-gratification of being ‘desired’. The other is trying to find a trustworthy life partner who will stick with them through struggles and vulnerability. Clearly there’s not much room for overlap on those two things.
Again, ‘attractive’ as I’ve written about it here, does not mean purely visual attraction. It means ‘total package attraction’.
If you use dating apps then your views might have become distorted, this happens primarily for ladies using dating apps and only a few small percent of men. Dating before dating apps was way different, you learned to appreciate the good and the “ok” parts of people.