I know this is going to seem like a weird thing to say seeing as I’m 47 years old, but I’ve never felt like a full fledged adult. Growing up I was a small, skinny kid who always looked a lot younger than my peers. I’ll never forget one day when I was a senior and I was wearing my senior sweatshirt that I overheard one kid say to another “that kid’s a senior?!” Plus there were these really cruel girls that would make comments to me about how I’ll grow one day.
Fast forward to today and while I’m not lucky enough to be 6’2″, I’m ok being 5’9″. I’m also no longer a skinny kid either, but I do struggle with the fact that puberty never seemed to really do its job on me. I can’t grow a beard to save my life and I hate the timbre of my voice because I don’t sound (to me) like a masculine or authoritative man at all. I just know that people do not take me seriously. The worst thing is that I don’t feel that I belong in any group. Thanks to a full head of gray hair I look too old to be hanging out or socializing with 20 and 30 year olds (“how do you do fellow kids?”), but my youthful personality makes getting all along with my peers just as difficult.
I don’t know what’s worse, acting younger than you are, or acting older than you feel.
1 comment
Can you dye your hair? Maybe you need a new look. At this point, your voice is your voice. It’s whatever you presume it is. It’s yours. Friends come in all age groups. Find people with similar interests and just hangout. Most importantly, accept who you are and be kind to yourself.