Are you okay with your partner watching porn?

30 comments

1. I pretty much do the same thing

2. I agree with you totally

3. It’s the organism it self

4. For me it’s like explosion in my head

5. yup, pretty much the same. Ik that he is not watching porn though (one of our base rules), so i am okay with him masturbating. I like him to tell me about it too – to finish him or just watch

6. My wife is ok with me watching porn. It’s usually of the cuckold or threesome variety. She knows the type and she asks if I masturbate with it. I’ll tell her. Her sex drive is lower than mine. She thinks it’s hot and once asked me to do it in front of her. She loved it. She has masturbated on her own but no porn and not very frequently. I think she did it when I was traveling once.

7. My wife can watch porn, jerk off, do whatever she wants – if she wants, she can tell me “hey I want to jack off so I’ll be in the bed for a bit” and I’ll tell her to have a good one. Same things apply to me too! Masturbating and having sex are two very different/non-comparable things for both of us.

8. First, where did you take that a guy needs porn to masturbate? This is ridiculous. Most guys can masturbate with just an erotic thought and often about their partner.

   It is a personal decision to accept porn or not. I think porn is OK as long as it does not impact your intimacy or screws man’s head with unrealistic scenarios.

9. I’m not okay with my partner watching porn, but I’m fine with them masturbating. If my partner wants to masturbate for relaxation or just for some alone time, I’m fine with that and am happy to provide pictures/videos. Porn can have so many negative effects on your brain and your sex life, and you don’t need it to masturbate so it’s a no for me.

10. I personally don’t mind. I can’t be around 24/7 and sometimes masturbation can “scratch and itch” the sex may not even cover.

11. No but it’s less about him getting off to adult content and more I find the toxicity of the porn industry ethically wrong and he understands why. In saying that we’ve recorded plenty of our own fun times and he loves getting off watching himself fuck me or me give him head. Or I’m happy to give him a lap dance or a solo play time to watch any time he asks.

12. I don’t care unless it seems to interfere with us having sex..

13. So Im 38M masturabte often sometimes daily and sometimes a few days not it depends how my mood is, cause it can help to let go stress , headache and sometimes its just because I’m horny. I watch porn or just imagine with some pics of celebs or random stuff of hot people. As to say i get enough sex and good sex but mastuarbation is something i do just for me while sex is something i have with my partner. My wife while she was on birth control had some similar thinking like you she don’t need to masturbate and had not so much mood for sex, clearly it was caused by the pill, since she is off from birth control she has much more interest in sex and masturbatuion and that is full okay for me and it’s okay for me if she uses toys and watch porn cause I uses it, she can use it as well. I don’t care if I’m not the one who she gets off to cause at this point she has a fantasy in that moment. I understand that people sometimes think oh I’m not enought that’s why he masturabte and she is more beautiful than me but its normaly not the reason If you send your partner nudes etc he will get off on them too I’m pretty sure but porn is just diffrent in that moment I watch porn I’m thinking I’m that guy and get go thinks on with thoose girls or something it’s just a fantasy and has nothing to do with my wife. So why not maybe she likes something and want to try that out, she also likes to watch girl/girl porn cause it’s a fantasy of her.

    But the one thing I always can say get your partner and talk about it, if you don’t feel good with that situation. So maybe you can handle something out

14. I’d be a bit concerned if I knew a partner was regularly watching mainstream porn because it’s often so misogynist. But my partner and I are both really into indie porn produced by and for women and I have no issues with that!

    Masturbation is ‘me time’ and it’s relaxing in a way that partnered sex isn’t, because you can just focus totally on yourself. It just fulfils a slightly different need to partnered sex. It’s definitely not worth being offended if a partner wants to masturbate sometimes – it’s not about you, they just want a moment to themself.

15. I’m fine with my partner masturbating when it doesn’t interfere with our sex life. I’m not fine with porn.

    Unfortunately masturbation has become his primary sexual release, so in this sense, I’m not exactly keen on the masturbation either. Having not really felt desired in almost a year… it gets to you. I could probably count the number of times we’ve had sex in the past year on two hands, so a balance is definitely needed.

16. I’m fine with it, personally.

17. Yea, as long as he isn’t physically cheating on me I’m okay with just about anything.

18. I’m a woman. I’m fine with my husband watching porn. He’s fine with me watching/reading porn. We don’t control the other’s masturbatory habits.

    Also, masturbation serves a different purposes than sex so I’ve always found this “but I’m available!” thing to be a little myopic and self involved. If masturbation is completely replacing the partnered sex, that’s one thing. But occasionally just wanting to get off, no muss, no fuss… that’s not an issue.

19. I am fine if they still have a healthy relationship with sex and me. As I’ve gotten older I think porn is not great. Its just too much these days and its all pretty bad mind wise. A little here and there isn’t bad though

20. I rarely watch mainstream porn, more “female friendly” porn like Erika Lust. My wife doesn’t have a problem with it and vice-versa.

21. I don’t really care that he watches porn. To be honest, the majority of the reason I personally watch porn at all is to imagine me and him in those scenes lol, but whatever he does is his business. It definitely doesn’t take away from the amazing sex we have at all !

22. Generally, no, don’t have a problem with it. That is assuming it doesn’t interfere with our relationship/sex in real life and that your partner doesn’t expect real life sex to be like mainstream porn (stamina, size, positions, acts)…

    That said masturbation doesn’t necessarily require porn, though I would bet the vast majority of people use porn to masturbate. Also, masturbation with or without porn often fills a different need — stress release, quick horniness relief, no pressure to perform, pratice/training to get better, etc.

    Our general rules is that porn is okay as long as you aren’t having / seeking out relationships, etc with the performers.

    That said — My SO doesn’t really watch porn and very rarely masturbates…but I’ve gone as far as buying her toys, etc to use alone or together to explore her sexuality , likes, dislikes, etc. I’ve also told her many times that anytime she feels horny / needs a release all she has to do is ask I would drop what I was doing to pleasure her and not expect anything in return. This really surprised her and still waiting for her to take me up on it… 😉

    From my side, I do both within reason but I generally don’t like big studio/mainstream porn for the reasons others have mentioned…so I tend to stick to more amateur/pro-am couples because it feels more real. If she was willing to do something for me whenever I felt the urge (within reason) I would probably do both far less but not stop entirely.

23. I’m okay with it. My partner can watch porn, look at NSFW Reddit posts, chat with people, masturbate, etc. whenever they want to, just nothing going on with someone irl behind my back.

24. Mainstream porn where the girls clit gets no attention and she gives head without receiving it and fakes orgasms holds no interest to me. However amateur and independent porn where the clit does get attention and the orgasms are less performative and more likely to be real is great for me.

    Masturbation is also great. I have always masturbated my partners since the very beginning of my sex life 50 years ago. It makes me happy to think that she is getting off either by herself or with me or whatever. Most of the time when we are doing PIV sex she is being masturbated either by herself or by me, as well as having my dick inside her, so what’s the difference? There is even subReddits dedicated to that r/JillingAndFucking and r/JillingWhileRiding. I can’t imagine objecting to masturbation when it’s so good for both partners.

25. My wife and me don’t care at all if the other watches porn/masturbates. We’ve done it together even and that can be a fun time.

    Now we would care if it seemed like it was getting in the way of sex. It’s never been an issue yet but something to consider.

26. I don’t care what they watch as long as it’s legal. I don’t care how much they masturbate as long as I’m fulfilled in our sex life.

    >a LITTLE offended if he opted for his hand over me. Obviously it’s different if i’m not in the mood.

    I think this sounds a little bit of “it’s ok if I don’t want sex but I’m mildly offended if you don’t want sex”.

27. This question comes up a lot in the sub.

    Almost always, it boils
    down, on some level, to be about the girlfriend/SO having varying levels of self-esteem, insecurity, or jealousy issues (why am I not enough for him? I should be enough. Does it mean he wants to cheat? etc.) The jealousy/insecurity thing is how your post is sounding, particularly bc you’re saying that you’d be OK with it if he was masturbating only to images/videos/thoughts of *you*.

    It means nothing that your SO/BF masturbates to porn. He likes jerking off. He prefers or needs porn visuals to jerk off. That’s what he’s used to for that particular “task.” A lot of the time it is almost a regular maintenance “task” for men, even if we’re having sex regularly; it’s easy, feels good, is quick, relieves stress, and promotes mental/physical clarity. It’s cleaner, quicker, and more-quickly satisfying than taking the time/effort to initiate with another person, worry about their needs, clean up, etc.

    It’s masturbation, not sex. It’s also not about the porn girls. This will be a a issue with any guy you’re with, whether it’s him or someone else; nearly every male human with access to porn masturbates to porn and will continue to do so whether they are in a relationship or not; so it’s best to come to terms with it.

    Now if you have an issue with porn as a thing or industry, that’s a completely different conversation. But don’t shame him or make him feel bad because that’s what he needs to get off. This is more of a you issue than a him issue, IMO.

    Should note, also, that we see a fair amount of “I don’t like my GF/SO [my BF/SO doesn’t like me] using a dildo or vibrator to masturbate.” Same basic issue; self-esteem/intimidation/jealousy/feeling inadequate because of it. So the feelings go both ways sometimes.

28. Masturbation is perfect a-ok. I do it, he does it, we do it together. But, I’m not ok with porn. He had issues with… overindulgence… for the longest time. I went without sex for 10+ months at a time. I finally figured it out and out a boundary into place. He stomped it all to crap for years. We’ve finally gotten better and he’s cut it out of his life. We now has sex almost every day, sometimes multiple times a day. But, he and I both also have time alone if/when we need it. Masturbation doesn’t equal porn.

29. I’m curious, would you be ok with him straight using you to get off, like your simply a masturbation tool? Is that better or worse than him fapping to porn? Or do you think thats hot?

30. Me and my gf can watch porn whenever. I can’t think of a reason (personally) as to why we wouldn’t let that occur. Horniness happens but that’s just us