For some background I’m 31, male (obviously), have a decent job and am not fat/overweight. I’m ok looking I guess.

I just can’t show romantic interest in any women because in 31 years of life I’ve never had one woman in person show that kind of interest or attraction towards me. Not once.

The only few experiences I had were through online dating where atleast you KNOW the person you matched with is interested in you.

But in day to day life, Ive never had a girl attracted to me.

I just feel like the instant I talk to a woman who didnt already know me, she knows why I’m talking to her and I’ve already lost.

36 comments

  4. I’m confused… you say when you talk to a woman she knows why you’re talking to her and you already lost. If I suspect a guy is showing interest in me it doesn’t mean he’s “lost”, on the contrary – if I reciprocate the interest then it’s a step in the right direction for both of us

  5. Don’t be so hard on yourself, dating scene is rough. I hate the mind games. Online dating even worse.

  6. I think your attitude towards this is self-reinforcing. If you can tell that someone has no self-esteem / doesn’t believe in himself then why would you be attracted to that person?

  9. > For some background I’m 31, male (obviously), have a decent job and am not fat/overweight. I’m ok looking I guess.

    Weight, size, strength? You might not think you are overweight, maybe you are overly skinny (which is worse). Or, you actually may be overweight.

    Ok looking? Well, you’re supposed to be attractive…

    Honestly it sounds like you have no social life. If you are social and outgoing, there will 100% be women who find you attractive. Do you go out? Do you organize events? Are you the boss of a large group? Do you have clout? Are you popular?

    Are you the most attractive man in the room? Why not? What does the most attractive man in the room do that you don’t? What’s stopping you?

  11. Could you please describe me, when you go on date how do you imagine those things to see them from the woman? Like to say smiling, eye contact etc.

  12. Dude, maybe you are just bad at picking up hints, just ask out any woman you like, unless you work with her, that would be unprofessional, what’s the worst that can happen, you get turned down? That is not deadly. And of course, we (women) know why men we don’t know talk to us most of the time, but we usually wait for them to make a move, and when they don’t we assume they are not interested. And that is what you are doing, giving that impression.

  14. It’s a tired piece of advice, but it’s worth listening to: If you have a strong sense of self, more women will become attracted to you. If you don’t respect or like yourself, women will sense this and look the other way.

    When I was a self-loathing, miserable prick, women wanted nothing to do with me. I can’t blame them. What’s worse, I was using attention from them to define my value. No attention from women? No value. That’s a pretty destructive cycle which leads nowhere.

  15. You do those fails for 31 years now and I can see you are going to continue. Nothing is going to change your mind?

  17. What have you done to gauge the interest of other woman? Why haven’t you tried asking woman out YOU are interested in?

  18. Remember this rule….
    Attractiveness begins from the inside.

    You have to love yourself first before you can love someone else.

    95% of men have to put in the work to make themselves more attractive to women. The other 5% can get away with a lot because of their physical genes but even then they’re going to have to add something else to their repertoire to make it sustainable. This has been the case throughout history.

    The more things you do for yourself the more a woman will eventually notice. Find things that make your own life happy and make you feel going about yourself.

    Remember that self improvement is called self improvement because it’s about making your life better first and foremost and it’s not to attract a gf.

  19. Flip the script. Do the opposite of what you feel you “should be doing”. It’s unnatural feeling and counter intuitive at first, but with some repetition you can do it. It will take women by surprise from what they’re used to, which will excite them thus build attraction. Trust me, it’ll work! You’ve got nothing to lose, right?

  22. I was thinking about this today, oddly enough.

    Last night I went to a club and even though women were being approached by guys left and right, I never approached a single woman because no woman gave me any “signals” of interest. Maybe one or two girls sort of smiled at me but every other girl that crossed my path acted as if I didn’t even exist.

    This made me feel unworthy of even attempting anything.

  24. I can relate. Most people won’t be interested. That’s ok. Let it go. All it takes is one. Maybe a few small tweaks can bring big improvements for you. You are closer than you think. Talk to them without making advances. Genuinely see how they are doing, offer to help them, make them laugh, encourage them. Aim to just make the woman’s day better. Give this and you’ll receive interest back, which will boost your confidence in asking them out.

  25. Wow who would have guessed that women are not interested in a man that *checks notes* does not show interest in them.

  26. You want a woman, but only if she doesn’t like you? That’s unrealistic. Seek a therapist before you enter a relationship.

  27. I’ve had some girls showing interest on me but they are always fat.

    I don’t understand why I attract fat girls given that I am quite sporty dude, not an Olympic athlete or anything but I am quite on the skinny side. I typically run 30 km a week and cycle more than 100km a week. I regularly go to the gym and I am really into outdoors sports like ski, kayak, etc.

    So I don’t really understand why fat girls think they could be a good fit with me since I expend like 15 hours a week practicing sports and my diet is 100% clean.

  28. I 10000% understand what you mean man and that’s why I stopped flirting.

    Guys don’t understand that REAL interest / love and flirting is completely different.

    I don’t flirt anymore with women.
    They would have to seriously engage with me so I’d know they are serious in getting to know me and attracted otherwise imo it’s a waste of time chasing a woman who would rather date someone else.

    Great post btw 🔥🙏

  29. So you have zero interest to change how you approach this. Denying and turning down every advice given to you. Why bother then? Just continue the path that’s not been working for you. It sure will never work.
    And it is funny you say no one ever showed internet in you hence you don’t want to even try showing interest first. As everyone is saying, if you don’t show interest first women won’t. So that’s why you aren’t getting them to show interest in you. Not necessarily because they won’t reciprocate if you tried

  30. sounds like a confidence issues my brother in Christ how about you change that i cant to i can and you might just start seeing a difference im a moderately attractive guy whos been with woman way over my league its all about how you walk the walk and talk the talk my brother if you already shooting yourself in the foot before hand how can you possibly walk the walk

  32. #1 work on your self first, bust ass at the gym, and your financial goals . Better have them by now
    #2 confidence comes with #1
    #3 never chase women , they chase you.

  33. If your that content with not letting your intentions known, don’t even bother dating at all. Just stay in the in the friend zone and watch someone else take the girl you want

  34. I feel your pain. I know my looks are below average, and that really makes it hard to meet women.

  35. It’s your perception man I had the same problem if you think it will go bad it will go bad I came to find out women are really really good at picking up vibes and intentions it’s uncanny I found when I had a better attitude with the approach and confidence that pick up on that and it goes better

  36. Good evening how are you doing!! My name is Cam on Camera 🎥. I have a show talking about meeting women and relationships and how you as a man can do better by approaching and talking to women. I will put up some links to my YouTube and other social media pages so you can watch!! Now that that’s out the way

    Sounds like you are lacking in confidence. The worst thing that a woman can do is say no right? So I think going out and just talking to women and seeing what they say would be the best plan. Sitting around wondering what if is not a good way to think. There are more women out there than men so I am definitely sure someone will like you!

    To add on to that, not being fat doesn’t mean that you feel like you’re attractive enough because the way you talk seems like you have low self-esteem issues. Working out also builds confidence and gives stress relief. So when you get rid of that stress you build confidence up.

    D.Entertainment_2022 is my Instagram and there will be a link in my bio for my YouTube page!

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