We have been together for 16 years. 3 kids (18, 14, 8)
This happened about 8-9 days ago. You can see in an older post to get a better idea of what is going on. To summarize, my wife has been hearing voices for almost 4 years. At first she thought she was a psychic until the voices started going all evil on her. She has multiple trips to the hospital at the beginning of this experience but never diagnosed with anything and practically refused meds.
Lately it has been witches and paranoia. Arguments have been happening and then she calls me a totally different name. Saying this evil spirit has taken over my body. But the last two weeks before the phone call, she would scream in my face obscenities. The older kids will hear it and try to defend me but then she’s all confused why they’re mad at her when she sees me as some evil spirit. Two different nights, a bat has been pulled out, yelling, smashing it on the floor. The first time I walked away. The second time she practically carried it and followed me with it for the rest of the night.
Anyways, another expected argument broke out. She tried to move into the garage, the normal screaming in my face but now spitting and actually shoving me. My 14 year old witnessed this one and tried to yell back but I got in the middle. She ended up throwing her fist up for some kind of punch. That’s when I had to call the cops. At the moment, she’s been in the psych ward and expects to be let go and won’t take any meds. In her journals you can tell she’s not with it, she thinks certain celebrities are stalking her and harassing her in the spirit world. She practically spends her time to herself smoking cigarettes and missing the kids grow up. I want her to get the help she needs but I don’t know what to do if they decide to let her go, she’s doing a good job keeping composure over there. Especially with how pissed off she is at me about calling the cops. She thinks we just had an argument. I’m guessing I’ll get a phone call in the morning. She now talks about divorce but she can’t even keep a job due to this condition. I don’t know what to do or what I’m looking for here. I’m guessing go to the epa at work but any type of advice would be appreciated. Thanks
8 comments
First off are you and the kids seeing a therapist about this?
They’ll have her on antipsychotics in the hospital but she can’t be forced to take them. Unfortunately a divorce might be best for all involved. Is it just a 72 hour hold?
So sorry buddy. I hope you get to a diagnosis and effective treatment plan. It’s unusual for schizophrenia to come on for the first time this late, so perhaps there is another cause. Sometimes these things can be managed. I have a friend who has onset of bipolar with paranoid schizophrenic features in his mid 20s. He got mostly better over 3 years and 20 years later is good.
Definitely sounds like schizophrenia. I’m sorry. Make sure to get the kids therapy to help them understand. Try to learn as much as you can and be supportive where and when you can but make sure you and the kids mental health and safety come first. It can happen late in life for some women. I’m so sorry 🥺
Sounds like she needs to be (& likely will be) legally committed. In that case (depending on your state), she *has to* take her psych meds.
I’m a psych nurse & see this all the time. You are doing the right thing.
Oh gosh I am so so sorry. If you want to ever vent or talk it out, Mental Health Safe Place is doing live chats, I’ve been going past couple nights and it’s been incredibly supportive, no professionals but just peer support for whatever you’re going through. Take care of yourself and your kids. ❤️
I am so sorry you are going through this. I went through the same with my brother 5 years ago, but he ended up homeless for years. Just a few months ago, he finally said he needed help and he’s been on meds and doing much better with a schizophrenia diagnosis. He still hears voices, but is able to cope and differentiate them from reality. Record everything you can and consistent talk to psychiatrists or law enforcement about what is going on. It’s very hard to get someone help for mental health when they don’t believe they are sick but it is possible. I wish you and the kids the best.
What do you see as the end state? Her medicated and still married to you? If she refuses treatment, your divorce options are limited as she may be considered not of sound mind to enter into a divorce. She could basically become your ward for the rest of her life where you will need to care for her while she continues to deteriorate. Maybe then you can forcibly medicate her. But you are basically in a no-win situation. I would probably ask r/legaladvice too, as pushing for her getting committed might be something you shouldn’t do.
I’m going to share some important thoughts as a peri menopausal woman myself. I am an incredibly devoted and nurturing wife and mother, my family is my heart and my life. I unknowingly went into peri menopause and had a big hormone imbalance. It turned me into a completely different person with insane thoughts that would be shocking to anyone who knows me. I was depressed, angry, hated my husband and my life and I was lashing out at everyone. Sometimes I just wanted to punch my own kids in the face when I was angry at them and I am not a violent person nor do I ever hit my children. It literally felt like I was over taken by some evil alter ego. I was constantly thinking about taking my own life and the best way to do it. This is only a fraction of what was happening to me.
It took going through several doctors to finally get the proper testing and acknowledge that my hormone imbalance was making me crazy. It is very real and rarely acknowledged by conventional medicine. I found a functional medicine doctor who now has me on hormone replacement and I feel a million times better, like my old loving, compassionate, happy self again. I look back at the person I was during that brief period and it’s absolutely frightening to me. I also remember being afraid that if I expressed the thoughts I was having to my husband he’d have me committed.
Anyway, there is evidence that hormone imbalance can trigger psychosis such as schizophrenia.
I strongly recommend that you start researching this and then find a doctor who will thoroughly test all of her hormones. They need to be in optimal range, not just within range. Like I mentioned before, functional medicine docs (you want one who specializes in hormones) are usually the most thorough and explore the full body to find the root cause. I truly believe my doctor saved my sanity and my life.