I don’t want to make this super long so long story short: My husband deals with a porn addiction which he openly admitted to wanting to help with. I had a traumatic experience when I was younger so I have some insecurities I have to work on when it comes to my partner watching porn (it’s crossing a boundary for me). My husband knew all of this before marrying me and said he would stop for the better of our marriage but he continues to do so anf lie about it but I catch him every time. I told him it’s fine and that if he thought it was best for him to just not do it when I’m home and once again he does it. This is honestly hurting me and pushing me away so much. Advice?
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When the question arises if it is interfering with the relationship, yes it needs to end. Any addiction pulls both of you apart. That need, that rush, is the most important thing to your spouse at the present. You can not compete with that. He needs to figure out if his future is in his hand or with you.
Decide if you can put up with the pain or not. He’s already shown you that he doesn’t respect your boundaries by crossing them more than once. He will likely continue.
My husband also has a porn addiction that started before me. Not only porn, just creeping women, anything to do with women in general. I asked him to stop, he would for 2-3 weeks than ease his way back in (bikini waxes on YouTube, dancers on tik Tok and before you know it back to porn). I kept putting up with it. Until he was away working and cheated on me with an escort. Not saying this will happen to you but if this is a boundary for you, either he respects it or it could get worse. I let it slide for way to long, and now here I am, 2 kids deep, depressed, defeated and cheated on. Dont let it get to this, I’m begging you. More than anything, it’s myself I lost
If you can afford a CSAT therapist for each of you or there are also 12 step programs like SA for him and S-ANON for you that don’t cost anything. There are also some great podcasts like PBSE that are helpful as well.