Fellow men of Reddit, what are some tips for a first date?

40 comments

  2. Don’t look at your phone.

    Make eye contact.

    Open doors for them.

    Say please, thank you, and other manners.

    Be respectful to everyone.

    Don’t look at your phone.

  3. You absolutely must shave your balls. The confidence derived from knowing your shiny casavas are ready for action will propel you onward in your romantic journey. You want them soft and kissable.

  5. Don’t have high expectations, ask her questions about herself, be respectful and have fun.

  6. It’s about making sure she has a good time while she’s with you, even if you don’t find her interesting / attractive / realize halfway through you don’t want a 2nd date

    You’ve set aside the time for her, make it the best for both of you

  7. * don’t be a total cheap but don’t take her somewhere that’s going to break the bank

    * prepare some questions just in case the organic conversation starts to diminish a little bit

    * Look your best appropriate to the location

    * get a workout in a couple hours beforehand

  8. Maintain eye contact, don’t look below the neck, ever.

    Ask questions about them and listen closely to the answers.

  10. I can’t really say anything that hasn’t already been said. Just be yourself, women can smell fake a mile away.

  11. If it goes well, as in you’re gonna score, just give her the best blowjob and stop at mouth stuff. Save something for the second date. It builds anticipation.

    Also, just be fucking normal. Don’t think of it like a date, imagine this is a friend that your closest homie introduced you to. Don’t get in your own head or up your own ass. You’re assessing her just as much as she’s assessing you. Find common interests, share positive stories, deflect anything that might spawn conflict unless it’s a Class I / II Red Flag, be authentically complimentary, stay relatively sober.

    You’re gonna do fine.

  12. It took me many years to fully appreciate just how hyper-vigilant most women are about personal safety; and understandably so, to be honest! So, to be polite and keep her comfortable…

    – Never ask her for her phone number, email address, or other contact information; instead, offer her yours.
    – Always have the entire first date in one very public place, unless she suggests otherwise. Don’t even suggest you and she go to a second location.
    – Never suggest trail hiking for the first few dates.
    – Don’t suggest you pick her up at her home; if you do, you’ll know where she lives, and she might not be ready for that. Suggest that she meet you at the public place.
    – It may seem strange, but don’t ever ask when she needs to end the date. Someone who intends to do her harm would ask that kind of question as a way to find out how long it will be before someone comes looking for her.
    – Assume that any phone calls or text messages she engages in are safety check-ins with friends or family. Unless it’s a long conversation, don’t complain about it.
    – To make her feel better about having a safety contact, schedule a safety phone call of your own, and casually mention it to her when (or before) you make the call. (Honestly, that will keep you a bit safer, too.)
    – Any time you want a hug or kiss, verbally ask for one. And/or you can offer your hand for her to grab it. Don’t just “move in” for a hug, kiss, or hand hold. Any type of un-asked-for physical contact is okay only after she has initiated it a couple times.
    – If she wants to leave early for any reason, you can certainly say that you’re sorry the date is ending so soon, but never try to convince her to stay.

  13. Have fun. You’re not there to win her over. You’re there to see if you’d wanna spend a whole lot of time with her. Is she fun? Is she easy to talk to? Do you feel comfortable with her? Does she seem like she’d be a good best friend and partner? Not all of the pressure is on you so have fun and just see how it goes and what comes naturally.

  16. Focus on learning more about her, what her interests are, what she does, and listen to what she’s saying. Remember what she says and bring it back up into the conversation. Simply wanting to know more about a woman and then remembering what she told you is a ought to get your foot in the door.

  17. Don’t take her to see a production of *Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf*, no matter how classy you think it would be to take her to see a play. Right idea, wrong play.

    (Yes I did this once)

  18. If you have to think of 50 things to say/not say/do/not do, you will have an awkward ass date lol. Just be genuinely interested

  19. Don’t spend too much money, unless you are loaded and after a gold digger.
    Chances are it won’t go anywhere save the expensive shit for the later dates.
    A casual coffee and a walk or something while you chat is all you need for a 1st date.

  20. First, shower and do a good job of cleaning yourself. Clean your bathroom and put fresh sheets on your bed. Wear clean clothes -you think everyone would know this but you would be wrong.

    Once you got your hygiene basics covered the best advice I can give is to just be you but try to be the best version of you. For example, I swear like a sailor, I know I shouldn’t, I try not to but I do anyway so when I went of first dates I tried not to swear (a lot). Treat the other person with respect, listen to what they have to say and try to remember what they said- this is one of my party tricks I can usually spit back verbatim things people have said to me in a conversation months/years ago -I listen. Don’t go into the date planning on getting laid, if anything convince yourself nothing is going to happen, that will take pressure off you and you will communicate better. Do pay or at least offer to pay if you are in a position to pay -e.g. if you are gainfully employed, you pay, if you are a broke ass college student, do your best. At the end of the night id she/he is looking at you with a goofy look on her face kiss her.

    Finally, don’t be afraid to pull the plug, if you aren’t feeling it say so and quit wasting each others time. Conversely, if you are vibing don’t end the night without them knowing.

  21. Look and smell good. Eye contact, but not like creepy eye contact. Make the plan. Practice active listening. Have zero expectations. Most of all enjoy yourself.

  22. For a first date don’t do anything super fancy just find a place to sit down and get to talk to each other

  24. Be yourself.
    Pay attention.
    Ask questions and listen to the answers.
    Don’t fart – that’s a big one.

  25. Find something you want to do, and invite her. If she says no then you know there isn’t enough overlap. You’re not likely to be happy and engaged doing something you don’t like, which will be a turn off. And its ok if you both have fun but dont click

  26. Confidence.
    If you act like she is the only girl you’re dating/will date then you’re going to be more reserved and “not yourself” out of fear of losing “this one”.

    If you know you’ll get more dates in the future and dont act “desperate”, you’ll be willing to speak your mind and say things that push the boundaries which is where comedy lives best. You’ll also be willing to disagree and you’ll have genuine conversations.

    Women like confidence, and they dont want to be with the desperate guy. Act like shes replaceable and you’re not (no, this doesn’t mean be an asshole) and gaurentee you’ll have a better date, even if it doesnt work out.

  27. Don’t be the guy you think she wants you to be, be the guy you’re comfortable being because you can’t hold a flex forever.

  29. Wear deodorant. Don’t overdo it on cologne. Pay attention to body language and don’t bring up sex under any circumstances. Keep her gaze. Be yourself, that’s who she’s expecting to see and why she agreed to your date in the first place.

  30. Ask her what a decorated potato looks like. She’ll be confused. Then tell her to go look in the mirror. Thank me later.

  31. – Good looks and Look good

    – Dress semi formal

    – Split the bill don’t be ashamed of it .

    – If she’s on her phone don’t go for desserts

    – Cafés are the best place to go .

    – Learn her name I made that mistake boy was she pissed.

    – Choose a place which is accessible so that both the parties can be comfortable going back home alone.

    – If she’s comfortable walk her home.

    – Send and ” you reached home text ?” And thank you for the date
    If you don’t hookup on the Forst night

    – If you do I don’t know anything about that

  33. If you are meeting her for the first time online DO NOT make the first date a huge thing. Keep it simple like coffee or a walk somewhere. I cannot tell you how many times people will plan these massive expensive dates for ppl they haven’t met in person.

    People you meet online can be completely different in real life. You may have absolutely no chemistry or just simply aren’t feeling the person and that OK. 2 ppl just won’t click sometimes.

    Now if you already met her in real life and actually talked and (somewhat) got a feeling for her then you can make the first date a little more in depth than just coffee.

  34. Make it a short (1 hour) coffee/walking date. You don’t know this person. You have no idea if she’s worth the money, time and effort of an involved date. Use this coffee date to find out if she is someone worth your time.

  35. Groom, and make sure you are hygenic. clean your house.. CLEAN not organise.

    Go there to have FUN with someone new. not anything else. if you end up learning about each other stuff that’s great… but first date, you still wanna see if you can trust the person to not go insane.

  36. I think it starts before your first date:

    – really dig deep to find out what you’re truly looking for out of dating in general. If you’re not wanting to get married anytime soon, if you just want to get it wet, if you’re looking for causal fun and maybe a long term fwb, etc etc. This lays out the foundation for you on how you date, what apps you use, how you introduce yourself and how you approach the first date.
    – if I’m dating for purely to hookup: I don’t delay first date or meeting. I spend time before the date texting and calling and turning the conversations into a sexual one and I’m upfront with what I’m looking for. Women who aren’t ready tend to delay that first date until they are or ghost which is great so you can move on to the next lady.
    – if I’m dating for finding a gf and wife: I tend to delay the first date so I can have plenty of calls and texts and emails back and forth. This allows me to see if I’d like her personality. Allows me to cancel and move on or have her cancel and move on. Saves a lot of money and time in the long run

    As for the first date? I always followed these rules for myself:

    – be upfront on what you’re meeting. Someone women just think they are going to make a new friend and are surprised when you try to get romantic
    – set a time and place that is easy to get to for both of you. And pick an activity where you can easily bail early and there is natural breaks for people to bail if they hate you. I always chose a fairly hip / interesting / highly recommended, high energy restaurant with a nice bar area that doesn’t get too busy. The idea being: cocktail first to feel things out. Then graduate to appetizer and 2nd round of you are hitting it off. If you’re really into each other, can suggest moving to dining room for full fledge dinner or move to your place or another restaurant spot or whatever.
    – always bring a fucking wad of cash and other credit cards. Machines go down, credit card companies might block you because they saw suspicions transaction, the restaurant might not take your credit card brand.
    – if you like her, don’t keep guessing. Ask her out on 2nd date at the end of the night. If she balks or says no? You don’t have worry about it and move on. If she changes her mind she can contact you back.

  37. Don’t expect much, but put your best foot forward. It’s basically an interview so try your best to be personable and likeable. Don’t spend the entire date talking about yourself, try to have it be an eb and flow kind of situation where both sides are keeping the convo going. If you or the other person is having a hard time keeping the convo up it might be a bad sign of the future (not a guarantee but it could be)

  38. Dress to impress. Ask more questions than you talk about yourself. Compliment them genuinely about something specific (I like your earrings, your nails look nice did you just get them done, your hair looks great, etc.). Ask about their friend group. If she doesn’t have any friends then usually they have unpleasant qualities and will rely too much upon you. Don’t push for anything, not even a kiss if it doesn’t feel natural. Ask permission to kiss her even if it does feel right. Consent is sexy

  40. if you’ve managed to break past the physical touch barrier, gently touching their necklace whilst asking them about it or complimenting it works very well

    only if they’re comfy ofc

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