What didn´t you know you did wrong until you started living with a woman?

28 comments

1. I breathe wrong! Wtf!

2. Apparently shampoo goes on the scalp and conditioner goes on the loose hair, not the other way around!

3. Folding towels. There is a right and proper way to fold them. So I learned the “right way.” But after a couple years, that way changed and I was back to square one.

4. I load the dishwasher wrong (according to her), but at least none of my dishes come out with food still on them.

5. Joking aside I’ve learnt a lot of good stuff, like caring for various things. For example how to properly store fruits and vegetables so that they don’t go bad, how to take care of textiles/clothes so that they can be used for longer etc. Also that I didn’t eat nearly enough fiber before. Loads of things. People say that their girlfriends nag a lot but honestly there’s a lot of good stuff to be learnt if you just listen.

6. Apparently my farts will make a room uninhabitable. My buddies and I are all industrial workers and have generally lost or sense of smell. She is still quite capable of smelling

7. I tried to break-up she said I was wrong, 3 years later still together

8. The way I organize things is wrong. But she knows where everything is all the time so clearly her system works better than mine.

9. Can’t just use towels for generic tasks, specific towels have specific purposes. Failure to comply is sacrilege and punishable by immediate scolding.

10. 1. loading the dishwasher 2. folding towels (this just feels like someone’s strong personal preference tbh) 3. folding fitted sheets (yeah, totally thought this was bullshit until someone SHOWED me it was possible, damnedest thing)

11. Apparently there is a “wrong” way to vacuum carpet that still renders it as clean but not as aesthetically pleasing as the “right” way. Who knew? Not me, clearly.

12. Apparently one does not drink wine directly from the bottle.

13. That my bed can’t have just the one pillow. Apparently I need a million of them.

14. I didn’t actually know how to communicate my feelings. Also, I learned how to give gifts that are meaningful.

15. Pretty much how to take care of my hair and skin better. Also made me better at taking care of myself in general.

    For example I put coconut oil in my hair before I go swimming. I learned this from a girlfriend I had in Hawaii.

    Apparently it helps seal moisture in as well as protect your hair from damage. Whatever it does, my hair gets softer, smoother and bigger after it dries. I swear it never looked so fabulous in my life.

    Edit: After reading some comments, I just want to clarify.

    It’s not like a shampoo or styling product. You don’t need that much.

    Too much going down the drains can mess up your pipes. So please don’t pour goops of it over your head.

    I just rub a few drops between my hands then tousled my hair until it has a nice sheen.

16. Bed Sheets. I used to cheap out, but pampering yourself in nice bed sheets makes it feel like you’re staying at a fancy hotel every night.

17. Not drying off in the shower before stepping on the bath mat, therefore minimizing how wet the bath mat gets.

18. the bucket of water after mopping shouldn’t go on the sink, it should go on the toilet.

19. That I was damaging my pans by rinsing and soaking them right after using them.

    Now I just let them sit on the stove for a week so they are nice and cool before I might wash them.

20. When I get into bed, I lie down too hard, causing the bed to shake violently. I have since learned to lie down more gently.

21. Not even when I started living with her, literally like so much related to my health and dealing with medical shit. “What, you mean it’s not normal to take 12 fucking pain killers to deal with working in a Warehouse?”

22. Sleeping on the bed with my going out clothes. I used to plop down immediately after I get home.

23. Not having a trash can in the bathroom

24. How good it feels to keep my home organized and clean. After living with my now ex-wife for six years, I can’t help but do deep cleans for my mental health.

    I really appreciate a solid vacuum cleaner, I feel better keeping wires off the floor, I’m proud of my undersink collection of cleaners and spare sponges (change out your dishwashing sponges 🧽 regularly!), I loaded up on 30+ microfiber cloths from Home Depot so I’m never without a way to clean up dust/messes, and I Konmari the shit out of my belongings on a regular basis for great relief. 😮‍💨

    Also I appreciate:

    – tissue boxes in every room
    – Rugs next to the bed
    – Every thing must have a home
    – Matching furniture has a subtle but powerful effect
    – Art on the walls does look nicer in frames, even dirt cheap frames from IKEA
    – Hiding cords feels good (combined with easy access for inevitable fiddling)
    – Taking out the trash feels as good as pooping

    Edit: if you want to trick men into cleaning, or just level up your game, get a multipack of cleaning brush attachments for drills. I just got this and it’s amazing: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07SBV2G1S/

25. Giving her space while giving her affection. Apparently, when she says all she wants to do is sit down and watch her novelas in peace. She actually means she wants me to sit down with her. But not for too long. Just long enough.

26. Apparently I’m supposed to go to the doctor every now and then.

27. The act of doing laundry is not 3 separate chores (washing, drying, folding & putting away.) It is one chore and you either did it or not.

28. Skin. Care. My friends all laugh at me for derma rolling, beard oiling, clay mask in the shower, special serums for my under eyes, lotions & creams etc… smooth, soft skin, & (soon) softer beard.

    I dont flake, I dont itch, & I look youthful. Meanwhile my friends are endlessly picking at their faces and complaining about beard itch.

    Skin care, lads