Do men like it when women pay for them on dates?

24 comments

1. I would love if a woman would even offer to pay the tip.
   Only date I got off of a dating site the girl told me after we’d already started eating that she was married and is only looking for friends. then when the bill came she didn’t offer to pay anything, and when the waitress came by and said “they’re not accepting cards”. I asked her if she had cash, to throw in, and she said “no” she didn’t have any money.

2. I love it. It makes me feels like she actually cares about *me*, rather than just seeing me as free food/activities. And I’ve *definitely* gone out with women that give off that “I’m only here because you’re paying” vibes.

   Maybe you just caught him off guard. I could see him being surprised if no other woman had offered to pay before.

3. I absolutely do. It makes me feel like the relationship actually goes both ways.

4. Ufcourse we do

5. my boyfriend doesn’t like it when i pay, but he’s ok with me paying the tip. it might be a comfortable middle ground.

6. Yes. 100% yes! Go you!

7. I paid for dinner on a first date cuz it was his birthday and he drive 3 hours to meet me. He was pleased.

8. Going to sound weird but some men get insulted when you pay. Some take it as you not enjoying the date given some women only pay when they plan on never seeing them again, some men take it as that you think they can’t really afford to take a woman out so you chip in.

9. The strange look is probably because it’s so engrained in men that we need to pay for almost everything, especially in the initial dating stage.

   I always appreciate my dates paying or even offering to do so. It would show me (or at least reinforce) that you’re interested and genuinely making more of an effort to reciprocate/show gratitude.

10. He likely isn’t used to a woman paying for him. I don’t think it’s a problem though.

11. Hell yes! I would give you a hug and kiss on the cheek as thanks.

    Just an offer to pay on the first date will get you brownie points.

    Paying for the second date after I paid for the first…will shock me and put you at 1st place for future wifey!

12. I would love it in theory. In reality it’s a mixed bag. It really comes down to presentation. In my experience, the vast majority of women I’ve encountered that have paid for anything on dates 1-3, let alone the whole bill, are the ones who weren’t interested and wanted to make sure I didn’t feel like I got used, which I appreciate. There are a few though who paid their way, or I alternate with, and things went well, and it because they did so because they wanted to show their interest in me, so all their actions indicated that. It was clear in the way they talked, flirted, or in this case, paid.

    Unless you show a ton of interest in a third date and you communicate that you like the idea of alternating who pays (within reason), I definitely would be a little confused. The internal doubt would definitely creep in. Which is funny because it’s the same response I would have if you never offered to pay as well. With both, I might start thinking that you just aren’t that interested, with mot offering being that you are using me, and insisting on paying being that you don’t want me to feel used or like you owe me something.

    I’m not saying it’s a bad thing, but layer it with some reassurance and clear intentions if you don’t want to muddy the waters. If you do this, you’ll likely have a guy who is thrilled at the notion of being seen as equal partners. It’s definitely a good thing, it just might have thrown him for a loop or started that self-doubt circle.

13. I like it when my date is willing and able to pay their fair share. If they do that on the first date, they get huge fucking respect from me and it makes them super attractive to me. I’m more than happy to pay for the next meal.

14. As a guy who’s been on the receiving end of multiple dates where the woman clearly was in it for free food/drinks (e.g suddenly focusing super intensely on their phone as the bill comes, then ghosts shortly after), I’d be thrilled.

15. Yeah we like free food too believe it or not

16. Personally, no.

    It has nothing to do with being a big, strong, independent man who always has to pay because I am a man and that’s what real men do.

    I just really don’t like people spending money on me. At all. I always feel like I owe them afterwards. Friends, family, dates, it all bugs the shit out of me, and I don’t know why.

17. Taking turns paying is okay but honestly I prefer splitting on all dates. When I’m looking to find my partner I like to treat things on equal footing from the beginning. And knowing we’re both investing in the time we spend getting to know each other helps me feel like the other person likes me.

    I see a lot of posts around here of women saying I’m not sure the person they’re going on a date with is a good fit, but maybe they’ll give it one more date and see if something changes. I don’t want someone unsure about me giving me a last chance, and I don’t think that would happen nearly as often if that woman had to invest financially in the date.

    Obviously, this sounds very broad and every single person and relationship dynamic is different. I’ve just had so many positive experiences with women who prefer to split on dates that falling back into outdated gender roles feels weird to me.

    Thankfully I’ve found my partner and will hopefully never have to worry about that again, haha.

18. Where are women like you hiding?

19. My gf bought me dinner at a Mexican restaurant once. There were a few older men standing by the register as she paid and I heard one of them say something including “pantalones” and they were all snickering.

    I took that as they laughed that my gf wore the pants. Lol

    But most men find the gesture to be kind and I appreciate it at least.

    Best is maybe offer to pay so that he can pay and feel better if he’s that type. But if it’s a thing for him that’s probably a bad sign anyway.

20. It makes my husband uncomfortable. But he had a very southern up bringing. And we still live in a small town with very “traditional”values. He would prefer me to cook a nice meal than to buy him a nice meal. I took him on a date the first year of us dating for his birthday. I insisted driving, paying for dinner, paying for the movie. He definitely appreciated it but he later mentioned it was a little embarrassing.

    I think it’s just something you have to feel out.

21. One of my hard rules as a guy, if the girl doesn’t offer to pay by third date I am done

22. I get tired of paying for everything. I make well over six figures and can easily pay, it’s moreso the gesture than the money. My ex girlfriend paid for our tab while I was in the bathroom on our first date and I knew she was a keeper. Women that not only offer to pay, but actually do pay, are a rare breed and definitely keepers. The women that expect me to pay all or most of the time are not girlfriend material.

23. Dudes don’t get shit bought for us… we also don’t get compliments.. you want to make a guys year? Tell him he looks amazing in that shirt… no shit, he will wear that shirt until it’s a worn out piece of string…

24. What you did is pretty admirable. I am sure he now respects you more. I believe that if we are to move further towards equality, we should get rid of customs that promote asymmetrical treatment of genders.