I (M19) moved out from my country to study few weeks ago. I was completly alone, until introduction days in my university. To clarify, there were more than thousand attendants, so we were splitted into small groups with around 10 people in each. All of them were girls, besides me and *let’s call him* Adam, who is the same age as I am. We really had fun during this days (10 days). Basically, we just had visited museums/had a tour around the uni/drunk and played board games.
The point of whole story is that I has fallen in love with Adam. And I don’t know how to deal with it. I’ve never had relations with guys. That’s why I’m writting this post
After the days, he left a city where we are going to study, because he’s still moving out from home. And I’ve realized how much I will miss him. Next time, when I’ll meet him is in two weeks, so I’ll have enough time to think about everything.
First of all, I don’t know the most important part of the puzzle. I don’t know, whether he is bi/gay or not. I’ve tried to “find an answer” during our multiple discussions. Probably, as you understand, just asking him “are you gay/bi or straight?” was not the option. But one time, while we were waiting in the line, one girl asked him, whether he has ever had a girlfriend. He responded, that he “had only one girlfriend, but not for a long time”. Moreover, he had been acting gayish (if it’s an offensive word, I’m really sorry) since the first day, especially with gestures, which were kind of similar to two of my openly-gay friends.
I won’t explain what specificly I like in him, even if we can’t be together, I still want to be friends with him. I really don’t want to be intrusive or something, but I don’t know how to act.
Should I be straightforward with him, and ask about his sexual preferences? As you probably understand, I don’t want to be rejected, not as a partner, but as a friend too. No one wants to be in derision or be gossiped. Should we just stay friends, so I should act, like I don’t have feelings for him? Should I wait, till I figure his orientation? What do you think?
tl;dr: I’ve fallen in love with my new friend from the uni, but I don’t know his sexual preferences. And I also don’t want to loose him, as a friend. What should I do? Remain friends, figure out his preferences and then react, or be direct and speak to him about my feelings?
*sorry for my english*
1 comment
I would not rush it.
Do you know his full name? Try to Google him, see if you find him on some forums or social networks, it might give you more information about his orientation.
When he comes back offer him to be friends on social networks. The same reason.
If you have deep conversations together and not just a small talk, ask him about his opinion on politics, some very conservative or very liberal views, LGBT rights.
Ask your openly gay friends or in specific forums for an advice: what are the signs that he might like you, how to show that you like him, what are the safe steps for you to take to make your relationship closer.