So basically I use to mess with this boy but we stopped talking (we will call him Ben) it was nothing too serious we only would sleep together & it would be really off & on, despite that I always enjoyed his company, he was very funny & always kept a smile on my face. A little while after me & him stopped talking my best friend (who is also my roommate) put him on to her cousin. I didn’t really care because he’s free to do whatever he wants but I thought it was strange that it was my best friend that did the match making because I often talked about him to her & she knew I really liked him but just brushed it off anyway. So last night she calls me on 3 way with her cousin while I’m at work & they’re talking about how they’re going to get drunk with someone at the house when my best friend gets off work (she was about an hour away from clocking out) they start being really secretive about who this mystery person is so I just drop it. Later that night my best friend calls me to tell me how it was Ben they were getting drunk with & how he came over to see her cousin & OH! also how they’re fucking in the living room as we speak on the phone. I was so mad but I really didn’t show it, I just told her how i thought that was so weird she would allow him to come over our place (me & my best friends house) to sleep with her cousin. I just felt disrespected all around, like how could he think it was okay to have sex with someone IN MY HOME, the same place he was invited to to have sex with me. How could my best friend set this up & think I would not care at all. The only person I’m not really mad at is her cousin because me & her aren’t really cool anyway but it’s just weird now because I was going to try to make an effort be her friend eventually for the simple fact that she’s a big part of my best friends life. I don’t even know how to explain how I really feel but I know for sure that I’m hurt.
& when she was telling me everything on the phone it was like she was trying to make me feel some type way. She kept talking about it after I told her I didn’t want to hear about it anymore. She says “he’s been here for a while, it seems like he actually wants to stay” it just made me feel really insecure because anytime me & him hung out it would be straight to business & then he would leave & my best friend knew that
I texted him while he was over there still because I was mad & my best friend calls me asking me why I said something because now it looks like she runs her mouth & how I could have waited till he left. HE SHOULDN’T HAVE BEEN OVER THERE IN THE FIRST PLACE, I felt like that was something I never needed to even worry about because she’s my best friend.
I’m just really hurt & still trying to figure out exactly what I feel…
TL;DR: My best friend let my sneaky link come over our home to sleep with her cousin
3 comments
Ben isn’t the issue here, maybe you should do some thinking about the “best friend” and how good a friend they really are.
Honestly get rid of them both, you’re well within your rights to be disgusted, and I’d just walk away from this whole situation
Your relationship with Ben sounds like a mess. You want to act like you’re happy with this on-again off-again situationship, but then you act like you’re really offended when people do something other than treat him like your exclusive partner. It doesn’t sound like your friend was very smart about how she went about this.
However, the fact is that feelings are so ambiguous here it’s not really that helpful in clarifying what boundaries should be. He’s not treating you like he wants to be in an exclusive relationship with you because evidently he doesn’t. It’s time for you to really wake up and decide whether you’re gonna be happy with this or whether you’d rather have something exclusive with somebody.