Hey y’all. I’m not even sure if this is where I should be posting this, but I need an outside perspective because I feel like I’m going crazy. Apologies in advance for formatting, I’m on mobile.
So for context, I’ve known my coworker (22f), who we’ll call Anna, for a little over two months, and I’d consider us to be friendly, but not close by any means. Anna is married to a husband I have not met. Another one of our coworkers (19?m), who we’ll call Martin, is super into Anna and flirts with her *hardcore*. She doesn’t necessarily flirt back, but she doesn’t reject his advances either, and they spend a lot of time together. I think it’s weird and kinda creepy, but whatever, it’s not my business.
Today, after I clocked in for work, Anna approaches me and says “hey, do we have a problem?”, which threw me off, because I’m not the type to get involved in workplace drama or anything of the sort. So I hesitantly reply “no?”, and she immediately gets angry, saying: “so why do I have seven people telling me that you’re spreading rumors about me hooking up with Martin?”. I was shocked, and tried to assure her that I had done nothing of the sort, but she continued to get angry, at one point saying that TEN different people told her that I was spreading crazy rumors about her and Martin. She named a few of these people, and while I don’t know most of them well, she named at least one person that I consider to be my good friend who wouldn’t say bad stuff about me. Or so I think.
She continued to interrogate me, and I swore up and down that I hadn’t spread these rumors. But I don’t think she believed me. I tried to follow up with my friend who supposedly had relayed this information to Anna, and she said that Anna had been asking her about me, but didn’t say much more since we had to work.
So I suppose I’m just looking for some outside perspective. Why would she say this? I’ve done nothing to her. I don’t know if I should believe her when she says ten people have told her I’m spreading these rumors. I don’t even think the rumors are necessarily true. What should I do?
TL;DR – My coworker confronted me about me supposedly spreading a rumor about her affair with another coworker. I didn’t spread any such rumor. What should I do?
3 comments
Martin told people, then told her he didn’t & that you must have.
Or, she’s bluffing.
Sounds like her husband might have caught on that she’s entertaining Martin’s advances through whatever means and now she needs a scapegoat to make it look like it’s just a rumor a coworker has spread. And, by investigation through asking other coworkers about you, she has deemed you the best candidate for it. This may be *because* you stay out of stuff and thus aren’t close with most of the people she “interviewed”.
That said, she’s dragging you into her drama. What you should do is go to these people who supposedly talked about you spreading the rumor and confront them. And I mean that you should do it *via email* so that you have something written – because if they tell you that they never said anything like it, then you have solid proof in case Anna doesn’t shut up and you have (and should) take the matter to HR.
You should immediately talk to your manager and/or HR so she doesn’t try and raise a harassment or bullying case against you. Bring a bullet list detailing what’s happened and explain that you’d like it to be noted that you’ve not engaged in any of this activity and would like advice on how to go forward with Anna from a professional standpoint. You want to get ahead of this. From now on, go by the book in terms of your interactions with Anna.
You should also consider noting down who you’ve spoken to about this. I.e. Anna said X, X and X told her I was the snitch. I’ve asked these people on this day and that time and they confirmed nothing happened.
If Anna is reckless enough to stir up stuff at work, you’ll need to protect yourself here.
Keep it cool, calm and professional with everyone. Coworkers are not your friends in general.