People ignore me and want to talk to me from a distance both irl and online when they rarely talk to me. Nothing I do fixes this and it feels like off and on at times like outside of my mom and bros and dog that the entire world hates me.

4 comments

  2. do you feel like you are good at socializing? if not, thats where you could start.

    theres a technique I picked up from healthygamer on yt called 1-2 punch or something like that. The premise is, after someone says something to you, you acknowledge what they say in some way, and then ask a question related to the topic.

    Example: someone says “I like volcanoes”

    You can respond with, “Volcanoes are dope! have you ever seen one in person!?”

    Ideally you should try to keep the question you ask somewhat open ended. The person youre talking to could easily just reply no to the question above and thats the end of the convo.

  3. Do you mind giving an example of an average conversation you have with someone new? That might help give some context

  4. If you feel that way then you’re probably right. People don’t want to talk to other people with poor social skills. I’m sorry to say that but it’s the truth.

    But here’s the important part. It’s not your fault.

    You weren’t born defective. There’s not something fundamentally wrong with you. You just struggle with a skill other people have been perfecting their whole lives. So first be kind to yourself and don’t beat yourself up over it. You’re in a good place because you’ve recognized the problem and hopefully want to make an effort to fix it.

    But before I start making suggestions on ways to improve your social skills, I would focus on your self-confidence.

    Trying to socialize is rough. No one does it perfectly. And with a lot of the things you do in life confidence is the key.

    Confidence isn’t based on the idea that you won’t fail but on the idea that when you do fail it will be okay. And if you’re trying to learn to be more social there will be lots of failures. No one learns to box without taking a few punches. And no champion boxer expects to go into a fight without getting hit. That’s life.

    So if you want to be better at anything whether it be boxing or talking to people you have to:

    ​

    1. Anticipate some failure but learn to have a positive and supportive reaction towards it.

    2. Practice and learn. Read books, watch videos etc.

    3. Some days will be better than others and you might lose a few battles but will ultimately win the war

    I’ve struggled with it also. And what helped me the most was self-compasion. I’d say something stupid to a grocery cashier and then kick myself for the rest of the day for it. Now when I do that I laugh it off instantly. And that’s the key I STILL DO IT. I still screw up all the time. We’re all human, no one is perfect.

    Be kind to yourself, put in the work and everything will be all right.

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