I always have a hard time distinguishing comments and actions guys do from being serious or just wanting to go to bed with me. I know every guy is different, but what are some generally good signs that a guy is seriously into you?

25 comments

  1. It’s indistinguishable, because I can’t know if I want a relationship with you until after having sex with you.

  2. When you guys hang out does he immediately try to initiate sex? If you do go out on a date, does he seem to expect sex at the end every time and seem to get upset/annoyed if it is not offered? When you guys are done with sexy time does he seem like he is just interested in getting out of there, or does something always seem to come up that requires him to go? If you answered yes to any of these questions you’re probably stuck in fuck-buddy territory.

  3. Everyone shows affection and interest in different ways. I often don’t know if I want a relationship with someone until I know them quite well, which could take a very long time. For me there aren’t any early signs, because I don’t know early on.

  4. I’d have to ask my GF this question. I can’t guess what signs I might have given her. I knew from before the first date she was “relationship material,” and halfway through the first date I knew I wanted to pursue one with her. All that was before the first kiss.

  6. If he hangs out with you more than a couple of times, without there being any sex, then he likes you ….. if he stops hanging out after that, then he was only after sex and has given up on it

  7. Imo – if he’s willing to wait a bit until you’re ready or even quite a while. Either he’s desperate or he really likes you.

  8. If he wants a few dates before trying to initiate sex, seems genuinely interested in parts of your life that have nothing to do with sex (like your job, your interests, your goals), and doesn’t seem to be primarily focused on how you look and talking directly or indirectly about sex it’s likely that he’s thinking about a full relationship.

  9. Don’t go to bed with him. Does he still want to hang out and is he still trying to get you to like him (telling you jokes, being “witty”, bringing you shit, whatever)? Then he really likes you. If he becomes a vapor trail as soon as you decline the easy hookup, then that was he wanted.

  10. When your around him and he doesn’t spend the entire time trying to drop your pants. He actually is listening to you and paying you real attention besides wondering if your wearing underwear or not.

  11. This is a hard question because I always look for a relationship, but have pretty high libido. I will flirt somewhat soon on. I would say if they always turn the conversation sexual and dont make much effort to get to know you otherwise, that they are just wanting sex. It could also be that they have a high libido and might just be excited.

    I would say if they pick the date and don’t try and entice you to their house or your house on the first date, they are probably trying to get to know you and see if you are worth a relationship. Honestly if they try and make their house the first date, it’s just about sex.

    I would say you are also better off laying boundaries about sex and when you are comfortable with it. A guy that’s in it for just sex will probably not want to play the long game and would rather move on to another woman. This is all tricky though.

    For me it’s easy for you to know because I’ve never had a FWB or ONS before. I could have, but my body count is lower because they are all women I’ve had a relationship with.

  12. I don’t think guys necessarily know themselves. Sometimes we don’t know until post-nut clarity and the testosterone fog clears.

    But if you’re seeing a guy regularly… does he ever just want to hang out knowing there will be no sex? Then he’s probably serious.

  13. Honestly. Think in reverse. If we act ho hum on you but we are having sex. It’s because deep down we think we might be falling in love w you. So the look of ho hum is actually shock and denial. It’s true for both men and women. It’s impossible to have sex and not get emotions involved. I don’t give a shit how much a man denies it. Because if he really thinks love isn’t for him or his natural defense to fighting love is just start a new relationship … Well, that’s a different kind of problem but still a problem. So his remedy isn’t a remedy. He may fall back to it to avoid meaningful relationships. But that technique is it’s own problem so its not a healthy solution so he is no better off than someone who is open to love but can’t find it. He may have already found it but he continually throws it away. Both are at 0.

  14. Does he try to initiate?

    Especially very early (like first few dates)?

    Then yeah that’s prob what’s on his mind.

    I don’t actually think it’s anywhere near as hard to tell as someone would make it seem, but that could just be me.

  15. Introducing you to my friends, or accepting a request to tag me in a photo of the two of us on social media.

  16. I think showing a genuine interest in getting to know you well before getting into anything sexual is a pretty good sign. A lot of guys say the right things, but then their actions give them away as soon as they start to feel like you let your guard down.
    Look for someone who follows through, and shows consistency. Try to keep the sexual aspect on hold for a little while so they can prove their intentions

  18. If I want to spend time with her more than I want to sleep with her. Also by showing interest in her as a person and what she normally does for work, on a daily basis, etc. Don’t get me wrong, sex is probably great, but it only lasts so long and then its over and at that point all thats left is spending time with each other. Imo you should know someone pretty well before you sleep with them in case something unexpected happens and know if they’re gonna stay or leave

  20. My take on this is completely unusual, as far as I can tell. There’s absolutely no way to know if a long-term relationship will work at the beginning. I think anyone who decides “this girl is relationship material!” right after meeting her is doomed to be disappointed. Same with “I only want to have a one-night fling with this girl” …. if the chemistry is good and the sex is good, why wouldn’t I want to have more of that? Let’s see where it goes! I don’t think I’ve ever been completely against the idea of a relationship with anyone, but most of the time it becomes obvious it’s not going to work out. Sometimes it becomes obvious right away, sometimes it takes weeks or months.

    Thing is …. during that time of figuring out how compatible we are, I want to be having sex. Why not? It really speeds up the “getting to know each other” process. Which means, most girls who for whatever reason think “wanting a relationship” and “wanting sex” are mutually exclusive made the wrong assumption about me.

  21. You’ll know the guy that wants a serious relationship and not just sex with you when…

    1. You tell your friends “he’s a nice guy and all BUT” phrases

    2. And also the guy you’ve told “we should just be friends” to

    If you ask many guys they will tell you a story about a girl/woman they really wanted to take care of, more than just sex. And how that girl/woman chose the guy when given the two options that just wanted to use them for sex. At the end of the day it’s the girl/woman that ultimately opens her legs for the guy she wants. It’s her choice.

  23. Personally, I’m not a casual hookup guy, so maybe my answer will be different from others. Generally speaking, if I’m talking to a woman and we’re getting into deep or interesting topics, laughing and having an all around good time without sex ever coming up, I probably just liked hanging out with you and would like to do that again.

    I’m not going to say all men are the same here, or that my experience is the most common, but generally speaking it’s a good sign if a guy genuinely listens to you, is interested in the conversation and seems to genuinely like just talking and hanging out with you. Ask yourself if he seems to laugh and have fun around you even if sex has never even come up in the conversation. Chances are, he might actually enjoy hanging out with you.

    If he sticks around for several days with no sex, and he’s asking about you (general things like your hobbies, interests etc.) and he seems genuinely interested in *you,* that’s an encouraging sign that he likes you and not just the thought of sex with you.

  24. Talking about the future and making plans long-term. As well liking for what you can do/provide other than sex

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